The Steps of Life
by everybreatheverymove
Summary: Rachel couldn't help but feel an attraction to him, he was the first person to show her any physical attention. But that one night, and the nine months that followed, would change everyone's lives forever. - ON HIATUS.
1. let's play cat and mouse

**The Steps of Life**

**Chapter 1**

**x-x-x**

_I'm fully aware that high school is supposed to be the time of your life, but I never really thought that theory was true. For once, I was proved wrong. And I didn't like it._

_I, Rachel Berry, am a sophomore in high school and I must say, I'm not enjoying myself. Not nearly as much as I thought I would. Granted, it's near the end of the year now, but I have a few points to well, point out._

_Every student seemed to have had some sort of transformation over the summer break, because they were either blonde and now a brunette, or their nose looked different._

_My teacher's suck._

_Nobody actually seemed to notice me._

_Fair enough, there was that one boy in my math class, and he's also in the glee club. But there wasn't going to be any sort of passionate relationship with this guy since I was pretty sure he was gay. Being the daughter of two gay men, I feel like I have a gay-dar. That's a gay radar._

_It didn't actually make that much sense. I'm mildly good looking. I don't have any sort of brace. I'm not a prude._

_My dress sense would probably have qualified as 'sexy school girl-librarian chic', the short skirts didn't mean I was a skank, unlike a few people I'd seen, but just that I was available._

_I wasn't available to everyone, like the guy with the big hair and glasses who always interviewed me. I liked the attention, but only from the career point of view. It's important to learn young, so that later in life when the press would have asked me questions about my new Broadway show, I would have been ready._

_Anyway, the problem was that nobody paid any actual attention to me. Any physical attention. Any physical attration._

_Until that day. It has now been four months and twenty since that day._

**Five months earlier.**

"Finn, did you hear me?"

The football player turned his head towards his best friend, "What, man?"

"You wanna hang around the seven-eleven later?"

"Sure, sounds great." He zoomed out again, as the teacher scribbled notes on the board before turning around and starting to hand them their essays from a few days ago.

The older man stopped beside his desk, "Finn, I'd like to speak to you after class." Finn nodded, while Puck shot him a glance,

"He's probably wants to have his way with you." he whispered behind his back.

Within five minutes, the bell had rang and students started to leave the room. He stood up, grabbing his books from his desk, he bumped backwards into a girl.

"Oh, sorry." he apologized quickly.

She looked up at him, her frame much smaller than his. "It's OK." she bit her lower lip and softly smiled, pulling her books tight against her chest.

Watching her retreating back, Finn watched as her bottom swayed as she walked.

"Don't let Quinn catch you staring." Puck suggested, snapping him out of his daze, "Besides, what were you apologizing to her for, she's like a cat and we're the tigers. She's a nobody."

Finn frowned, "You do realize that that makes absolutely no sense?" Puck shrugged. "Don't bend over," he adviced before leaving the classroom. Finn chuckled, grabbing his bag and walking over towards Schue's desk.

"You wanted to speak with me, Mr. Schue?"

He looked up, "Yes, listen... It seems that your grades are slipping and you're failing your year in Spanish."

"Is there anything I can do to get my grades back up?"

Mr. Schuester nodded, grabbing one of many pieces of paper from his desk and handing it to the boy, "I've assigned you a tutor. You'll see each other every monday during lunch in the library, that doesn't clash with anything else does it?"

Finn smiled, "No, that's fine. It's great. Thanks, Mr. Schue."

"OK, so for Prom, I was thinking black and white. Like a wedding." Puck rolled his eyes as Quinn gushed to her boyfriend about her plans for this year's Prom.

Finn nodded along, faking attention to the blonde as she rambled on. His mind was elsewhere, on his tutor. He didn't even know who he was. Or she was. Given his luck, he'd probably end up with one of the geeks who masturbate over history books. They are so not sharing. Speaking of his tutoring lessons,

"Oh, crap. Quinn, I gotta go."

She crossed her arms and frowned deeply, "What? Where?"

"I have a tutoring lesson in...," he checked his watch, "five minutes ago." He leaned over and kissed her quickly on the lips before getting up, "I'll see you later." He didn't Puck's smirk towards Quinn when he left.

Upon entering the large room, he took notice of the dozens of rows of books, many of which he'd never even noticed before. He didn't know who he was looking for exactly. A boy? A girl? Glasses? Sweater-vest?

"Hey!" a voice called from behind him. He turned around and spotted the girl from earlier, "you're here for Spanish, right?" She raised an eyebrow and tapped a pencil against her book as she flicked the page.

Finn gave her a half-smile, "Uhh, yeah... you're my tutor?"

She finally looked up from her book, her pencil dropping on the floor as she stuttered, "Y-yeah,"

He sat down across from her, placing his own books down on the wooden table while she bent down and picked up her pencil from underneath it.

"So," she popped her head back up, her long brown hair flipped in the process, "you're failing."

He nodded, a confused expression on his face, "Well, yeah... that is kind of why I'm here."

The girl giggled, "I know... I was just- moving on, let's turn to page 26."

Finn ignored her, particularly because he was paying so much attention listening to her, rather than listening to her, "you're Rachel, right?" he asked, leaning back in his seat as he placed both hands against the table.

Rachel lifted her head and glanced at him briefly, nervously placing her pencil down and twiddling her fingers together, "You know my name." she mumbled to herself, her head tilting to the side, and shaking with disbelief.

He was confused, "Well, you're in a few of my classes so why wouldn't I know your name?"

"I don't know, it's just - I'm not really on your radar. I mean,"

"What makes you think you're not on my radar?" he interrupted, asking her something she hadn't been expecting.

She shook her head, avoiding eye contact, "Nevermind. Let's just get back to Spanish."

"No." he objected, closing her book down in front of her and pulling it toward him so she wouldn't be able to retrieve it, "tell me what you meant."

Rachel sighed, placing both of her hands in her lap, playing with the creases of her skirt. "Can you please just give me my book back, please?"

"You're not one of those nerds who live by their school books, are you?" he raised an eyebrow.

"No, I'm not, I do not live by my books. I live by my music." she looked down, biting her bottom lip again, something he couldn't help but find adorable. There was just something incredibly attractive about it.

Finn grinned, "You write music? Interesting."

"I sing, I'm actually not very good with the writing. So if you'd please just give me my damn book back and stop making fun of my tastes, so we can get back to the lesson."

"What else do you do?"

"What?" she asked, "What's with the 20 questions?"

"Nothing, I'm just curious about what you do to have fun." he shrugged, the book still grasped in his hands. He wasn't moving anytime soon.

Rachel got up from her seat, her hands placed on her hips, "That is none of your business!"

He hadn't paid any notice to the way her attitude had changed, more demanding. "D'you go out? Where do you go? D'you have sex? Do you go to parties? I bet you don't. You don't you do?" Finn smirked

She didn't know how it happened, but somehow she had moved around to the other side of the table where he was, a hand still against her hip as the other stuck out, waiting for the book. He turned his chair sideways so that he was facing her, a smirk plastered against his face, "You want it back?" he waved the book around teasingly.

"Please?" she waited patiently, but it wasn't going to last long.

He contemplated handing it back to her, but he was enjoying her attention. He knew that if he gave it back to her, he'd have to study and sure, he wanted his grades back up, but he wanted to spend some time with her, without the school lessons. And he didn't know why.

"Look, unless you want me to complain to the little old lady at her desk over there, I recommend you hand it back. Right now."

Finn stood, the book still unattainable to her due to their height difference. "Do you wanna go to my friend's party, tomorrow night?" He had caught himself off with the question. Was he... asking her out? He had a girlfriend, for god's sake. Was her inviting her out of pity because she didn't seem to get out much? Puck had told him she was a loser, a nobody. So why was he inviting her to _his_ party?

Because there was just something about her that caught his attention.

She huffed, her hands suddenly swinging out towards his head, trying her best to reach her book. Rachel Berry was not going to stand for this.

"Is that a no?"

She giggled with a small smile, finding his insistence cute.

He lowered the book down a bit, "Is that a yes?"

"If I say yes, are you going to give me my book back?" she asked.

Finn stepped closer to her, the distance between their bodies getting smaller. He leaned down so his face was only a few inches away from hers, "maybe..."

Rachel gulped, her eyes finding the floor, "Well then," she started, stopping when his index finger found her chin and lifted her head up so she was looking at him directly. It was such weird circumstances. Why was he so persistent? Her eyes darted to his mouth when he licked his bottom lip. Was he going to kiss her?

Who was she kidding?

"Well?" he questioned softly, his eyes flickered to her own lips, "because I was thinking... we could hang somewhere with low-lighting..." What the hell was he doing? He had a perfect girlfriend, but he couldn't help himself from finding something special about Rachel.

Gulp. She slowly nodded, her eyes finding his. "OK."

It was so simple. Just one word. One word that would change her life for the next nine months.


	2. no room for innocence

Thank you so much for the positive response to the last chapter. And I'm sorry for the delay, but I promise that I will try my best to update whenever I can. I hope this makes up for the wait.

Warning: this chapter is rated M.

* * *

><p><strong>The Steps of Life<strong>

**Chapter 2**

**x-x-x**

_To this day, I'm still unsure of why I actually went to the party. It was stupid really._

_It was a Tuesday night, a school night. I hadn't told my dads where I was going, they never would have let me go._

_So, I'd lied. I told them that I was going to a 'friend's house to study for a history test. Surprisingly, they bought it. My dads weren't exactly aware that I wasn't the most popular girl in school. But popularity and social standing should not deprive someone of having friends. But it did._

_At 9pm, I was dressed in one of my favourite yellow and grey plaid skirts, and a simple brown jumper that gathered up at my elbows. My hair was down, the curls resting just below my shoulders. My lip-gloss had been applied, and my mascara a bit more thicker than what I was accustomed to._

_I had looked at myself briefly in the mirror, before pulling my knee-highs up. My skirt had been an inch higher than it usually was, so my legs didn't seem to covered up. I was not going to attend a party, which I should already feel privileged to be at, dressed like a catholic school-girl. Not only would it be slightly disrespectful to my Jewish faith, but it would surely put off any guy willing to show any interest in me._

_A few minutes later, after slipping into my shoes and waving a goodbye to my fathers, I had grabbed my keys from the side and left the house. "Be safe." they called in unison behind me._

_I had no idea how much I should have listened._

**Tuesday night.**

Rachel sighed, was she really going to be _this _stupid? Was she really going to downgrade to _their_ level?

She was not the type of person to enter a party like this. Hell, she wasn't the type of person to enter a party, at all.

Walking up the front steps, she knews that this wouldn't be good as soon as she'd seen some of the football players toss one of the drama kids into the garbage bin outside.

A drama kid. One of her kind.

"Who invited _her_?" Quinn snarled, sending daggers towards the musical beauty.

Puck shrugged, "I don't know." And to be honest, he could really care less, "How about we go and make a party of our own?" he suggested, gently elbowing Quinn.

The blonde grinned, her gaze still following the brunette, "Fine, but just make sure Finn doesn't catch us."

Rachel caught a glance of the two as they headed upstairs and shook her head. Poor Finn had no idea.

"Hey, there you are!" a voice called from behind her. Her body seemed to shiver when she felt a hand being placed against her arm.

Turning around, she realized that she'd been too caught up in her nerves to notice Finn. She smiled, "Hi."

At least he seemed kind of... _glad _to see her? She was honestly expecting him to humiliate her in front of everybody. To play some sick joke on her.

"Hey," he smiled back, raising a drink up to his lips, "D'you wanna drink?"

"Uhh... sure." she wasn't one to drink. But _he_ was offering her one, and she just couldn't find it in herself to refuse him.

"Here, have mine." Rachel gulped, thinking of how he'd just had his lips on the same cup. It was so unhygienic, yet so enticing at the same time.

She grabbed the cup from his hands, taking a swig, "It tastes like pink!"

Finn chuckled, confused as to what she meant, "Yeah, sure." he shrugged, "D'you wanna go and talk?"

Rachel nodded, _please god, somewhere quiet... with low-ligthing._ Oh, who was she kidding? He was _him_ and she was _her_. That would never happen.

"Just stay here a sec." he told her, resting a hand on her shoulder, "OK?"

With a nod from her in return, Finn walked away for just a second.

Oh, how that second would change everything.

**xx**

"So, you're in the drama club? That's so cool! I was thinking of joining!" Kurt yelled over the music.

Kurt Hummel was sixteen, a sophomore in high school and a damn-right legend. In his world.

To the exterior world, he was the gay guy who dressed like a chick and wore heels when he liked.

But when Kurt Hummel introduced himself to Blaine Anderson, he was sure he'd found his other half.

Blaine seemed perfect for him. Average height. Dark hair. Good looking. Nice eyes. Killer voice. Amazing dress sense. Oh, and he was gay too. Which was nice for a change.

"Yeah, I joined this year. I just transferred from Dalton Academy!" he yelled back.

Kurt gasped, "No way! You guys were awesome at Regionals!"

**xx**

"Hey, baby. Can I get you anything?" The voice caused her back to stiffen.

Rachel turned around, pulling a face when she realized that it hadn't been Finn, but one of the many unattractive hockey players had just called out to her, "No, thanks. I've already got one." she smiled, raising her shoulders as a _sorry_.

The guy grimaced out of confusion, "So?"

"So, I'm fine, but thanks." she walked over towards the stairs, a hand gripping the banister.

"Hey, look. I'm just trying to make conversation." he reached out, attempting to grab her hand, but instead caught ahold of her arm.

Rachel looked up at him dangerously, "Let go. Now."

"Why? What are you gonna about it?" he raised both eyebrows, his fingers working up her arm to her shoulder. "No one's here to _save you_." he whispered.

She gulped, looking around and gripping the railing tighter underneath her fingers. Everyone had seemed to move into the living room, while here she was on the stairs, some idiot trying to grope her. Where was Finn? As soon as she'd asked herself the question, she mentally laughed. Who was she kidding? He wasn't going to come and take her away from this creep. He would never be her Prince Charming.

His hand moved lower down her side, resting on her hip. "You know, you really shouldn't tease people with those skirts of yours." He leaned closer to her, his breath near her ear, "Why don't we go and have some fun."

This was it, her end. She knew how this worked, she'd lose. But she'd still try and escape this pervert somehow. Fighting off his hand that was crawling its way to her ass, she shrieked. Was he going to rape? Would he really go that far, just to get laid? She was sure she was going to end up losing herself to some moron that attacked her at a high school party, a party she should never have attended in the first place. She closed her eyes, tears rolling down. She'd never be able to win this fight.

"Why don't you let go of her?"

Her eyes snapped back open at the voice. The voice of her saviour.

Finn.

The hockey player turned around to face him, "Why don't you back off?"

"How about _no_?" He walked stepped up the few stairs to reach them, his hand holding Rachel's own, "Come on." She quickly let go of her other hand, grasping Finn's shirt tightly in her fingers. "You," he pointed to the other guy, "leave. Now."

Then he directed his finger towards the front door. He didn't look around to see if he'd left, he just simply took the girl upstairs.

She sighed, realizing that her hand was still clasped into his. He probably hadn't even payed attention. She pulled it back, but her wouldn't seem to let go, so she smiled.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, stepping in front of her. Finn looked down at her, his free hand lifting up to push her hair behind her ear.

Rachel bit her bottom lip, unknowingly killing him. Nodding her head, "Yeah. Thank you..." she smiled. This had to be one of the most awkward situations that she'd ever had the pleasure of being involved in. She was alone in the hallway with the most popular guy in the whole school, who'd just saved her from being attacked.

Finn gently smiled, "Come on," he said, pushing his hand against the door next to her. It was a bedroom. Rachel's cheeks flared up when she thought of the possibilities. He had to have known that it was a bedroom though, spending time in the house since Puck was his best friend.

"Why are we... in here?" she asked, not wanting to let off on what she was thinking.

He swallowed nervously, "You are going to go and freshen up." he closed the door behind him as he spoke. "And then, we're going to go downstairs and you're going to have some actual fun."

"Freshen up? Am I really that bad?"

His eyes widened quickly, "What? No, you look beautiful." she blushed at the comment, "But you were crying and stuff..." he told her.

"Then why am I not in the bathroom?" she asked out of curiosity.

"Do you really want to be in a room where people are probably doing it on the floor?"

Rachel nodded, "Right."

"Besides, there's an on-suite." he pointed out.

She twirled around, finding a door in front of her. "Ah, that explains it."

"Explains what?"

"Everything." she trailed off, turning the handle and entering the adjacent room. Who was kidding? Again? Of course, he wasn't thinking the same things she was. She was delusional to think that he even might have been.

"What are you doing in here, Yentl?" a voice asked. She glanced up and saw a fellow student sat on the bathtub, a cigarette in hand.

Her name is Santana Lopez. Former cheerleader, she quit the Cheerios when her father died and took up smoking. She used to be friends with Quinn, until the later disowned her for quitting the team.

"Shouldn't I be asking you the same question?" Rachel retorted back. She felt a presence behind her and noticed Finn standing there.

"Hudson, what are _you_ doing here?" she asked, putting her cigarette out on the side of the tub, leaving little bits of black ash. She crossed her legs and rested her arms next to her, "Actually, what are both doing in here, together?" Her voice had an amused tone to it as she questioned to pair, teasing almost.

"Santana, leave." Finn sighed, motioning to the door behind him.

The girl stood up, holding her hands up, "I'm going." As she walked through the door, he called back, "Don't worry, I won't tell Little-Miss-Perfect." she put a finger to her lips, a sign of keeping quiet."

And the door slammed behind her as she left.

"What does she mean, keep quiet?"

Finn walked forward, standing behind her. "I have no idea."

Rachel looked up into the mirror, gasping when she saw the tear marks on her face. Finn leaned over and grabbed a piece of toilet roll, running it under the cold tap before passing it to her. She smiled.

"Thanks. You don't have to wait for me, you know. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself." she told him, applying the paper under her eyes.

He shook his head, "I'm not." she mentally kicked herself again, "It's just... I feel like it's my fault that he tried to-"

She cut him off, turning around swiftly. "It's not your fault. I just- I should learn to not wear such short skirts." she giggled, her eyes avoiding his face.

"I like your short skirts."

When she finally looked at him, the very little distance between them seemed inevitable.

This was insane, how did she keep finding herself in the circumstances with him? With Finn Hudson? She didn't know, but she liked it.

She swallowed, "really?" Her right hand nervously found its way behind her, against the counter. Daring herself to look at him in the eyes, she noticed how dark his eyes had turned.

Finn gulped, his eyes blinking from hers and rested on her red lips. He wanted so desperately to kiss her. To see how she felt. To see how she tasted. To... love her. He licked his lips, his left hand loving forward and resting against the counter, his fingers toying with hers. With the movement, his body had leaned even closer to her, and she could feel his breath on his lips.

His fingers rested atop of hers, threading through and intertwining.

He had two options.

He could either walk away now and be a coward.

Or, he could take a chance.

Finn chose the second option.

As soon as Rachel's tongue had darted out of her mouth to moisten her dry lips, he had decided. He would not waste another minute playing this game with her.

His lips found hers roughly, her tongue entering his mouth as she moaned from the sudden contact. He copied her, his own working its way between her lips and beginning a play of dominance. His hand pressed down on hers against the counter, his fingers gripping the edge of the sink to stop her from moving. Rachel moved a leg, nesting it in the middle of both of his. His body ground into her, his erection pressing against her as she backed herself up to the counter, his right hand finding the side of her face and pulling her face closer towards him, if possible.

Finn groaned as he left hand found his head, and her fingers ran through his hair, their mouths moving as one.

He softly pulled back, "Do you have any idea how long I've wanted to do that?"

She blushed, "really?" her fingers twitched under his, but he didn't move his hand. She bit her lip again, and he pressed his face against hers.

"Because you keep doing that..." he told her, leaning down again and taking her bottom lip between his teeth and gently biting it. Rachel moaned and held the back of his neck, bringing him closer.

Rachel's breath hitched as his lips moved lower, gently licking down the side of her neck. Her hands moved down to his front, stopping on the zip of his blue jeans .

He lifted his head and looked her in the eyes, his stomach suddenly aching from the burning look of desire in her eyes, "Wait, wait- stop." he said, softly grabbing her wrists to stop her from moving forward.

The girl glanced up at him, the chocolate color of her eyes begging him, "Did- did I do something wrong?" Her voice quivered with the fear of embarrassment. She cast her eyes down, the tiled floor becoming all-of-a-sudden move interesting.

Finn placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head so she faced him, "You did nothing wrong. I just- I don't wanna make you do anything that you don't want to." he told her, the pad of his thumb moving up to caress her lower lip.

She knew it. She was right, he'd just played her. She was fooling herself by thinking that this was actually real, that he might actually have some sort of... _feelings_ for her.

"It's because I'm not prettier, isn't it?" she asked him, "Because I'm not a pretty as Quinn, right? She's stunning and I'm just avera-"

He cut her off, a frown resting on his face, "Would you stop?" his palms cupped both sides of her face, "You're beautiful." He was being honest, something his mother had taught him to do when he was little. And if he was being completely honest, she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. He didn't know if it was the small amount of alcohol in his system that was speaking but, "I really like you, Rachel."

And she took a chance.

"Then kiss me."

So, he did as he was told.

Except this time, he was sure of what she wanted. Him, she wanted him. And he wanted her.

Her fingers nervously undoing his jeans, they sled to the floor as he kicked of his shoes. Rachel copied his actions, her pumps laying on the ground. He pulled her sweater over her head slowly, her black bra coming exposed.

Finn rested his hands under her bottom, raising her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, her arms linking behind his neck. She moved her right hand behind her, unzipping the back of her skirt as he walked her over to the bed.

Once she felt her back hit the warmth of the covered mattress below her, she finally pulled away from the kiss. He hovered over her, his nose resting against hers. "Are you sure about this?"

It took her a moment to respond. Was she sure about this? This moment? This situation? Was she sure that she wanted to lose her virginity to him? To Finn Hudson? To the most popular guy in school? To a guy who might possibly never speak to her again after tonight? She didn't exactly have any suitors, any other options. No one was really queuing up to get with her. And she wasn't the most uptight person. Besides, she wanted to do it before her senior year started, so what harm could it possibly do?

Rachel nodded, her throat burning with fire as he stood up and walked over to the door, locking it. As he turned, she noticed the expression on his face. It was a mix of pure lust and uncertainty. Shimmying her skirt down her legs while he proceeded to remove his plain white t-shirt, she stared up at him. Finn turned his attention to her, stood in only his boxers. "Are you okay?" he asked her and the brunette smiled as her answer.

Finn walked over to her, running his hands to her back and resting them on the clasp of her bra. She tensed, leading him to not continue. When one of her hand's trailed down his bare chest, his fingers toyed with the clasp, his face constantly checking hers for assurance. The straps fell down her arms as he pulled it off of her, letting it fall to the ground carelessly. He pulled her against him, their naked chests gently touching together.

As she moved herself backwards to the bed, her arms flew up to cover her bare breasts. Finn stopped her, his hands flying up to grab her arms, around her elbows. He lay her down, resting his hands beside her head. Rachel breathed out heavily from underneath him, her eyes darting around the room nervously as he shrugged off both of their remaining clothes. Goosebumps covering her skin when she realized that she was naked. That they were both naked.

"You're not sure about this, are you?"

She shook her head, "No, I am. Just- Can we please just get it over with, already?" she questioned.

He wasn't going to do this if it was something that she didn't want. He wasn't that kind of guy.

"Rachel, I'm not so sure that you're sure." he warned her, his gaze making her feel slightly uncomfortable.

The brunette sighed, grasping his hands in her own and pinning them above her hand. "Please," she pleaded. She wanted this, wanted him. It was the only chance that she'd probably ever have of being close, so close, to the guy of her dreams. To her Prince Charming.

Finn swallowed a breath he didn't realize he was holding and nodded, "It might hurt."

"I know... I've done my fair share of research." she told him, finding herself becoming impatient with the delays. Couldn't they just do it already?

He leaned down to kiss her, his lips pressing against hers softly as he slowly pushed himself into her. She pulled away and let out a small gasp from underneath him at the contact and he halted his movement, before she spoke, "It's OK," she bit her lip again, "Just... keep going."

Finding his lips again, Rachel shifted into a more comfortable position as his tongue entered her mouth. Her hands firmly took a grip of his shoulders as he moved in her again. He bit her lip to stop her from shrieking out, but could feel the moan escaping through their joined mouths. Her nails dug into his back lightly as she sucked his tongue to keep herself from crying out. Whoever thought that you could get so much pleasure and so much pain all at the same time?

The pain began to subside and she raised her legs around his waist, letting him slide in deeper to her core.

As she could feel him hit a sensitive spot, she moaned out, "Oh,"

She could feel herself getting closer to the edge and she was sure he wasn't far behind, given his groans of pleasure. When he felt himself explode within her, he reached his hand down and gently rubbed her clit, and she followed close behind.

With a final pant, he collapsed on top of her, his breathing rugged. Finn grasped the side of her face and pulled her towards him, kissing her with passion. As he pulled away, she smiled.

"Are you okay?" he asked her, running a hand through her hair and pressing his lips against the side of her neck where he lay his head.

Rachel slowly nodded, her breath erratic. She turned her head to look at him, "I'm fine."

Somehow within the next ten minutes, he had managed to fall asleep. She knew that she probably should have done the same thing but glancing at the clock, she realized that it was already 12.30am.

Rising from the bed, she searched for her underwear. Pulling her lace panties up her legs, she noticed that she had been wearing her knee-highs the whole time. Clasping her bra and pulling on her sweater, she tried her best not to wake him. Once her skirt was back in place and her shoes were back on, she looked at Finn and then into the mirror, a smile evident on her face.

As she left the room, she breathed out a heavy sigh.

When she arrived downstairs, she spotted Santana holding a cup to her lips as she smirked in her direction. Rachel ignored her teasing expression and continued on to the front door, hoping into her car as soon as she could.

Santana, waiting at the bottom of the stairs, stood with a knowing smile. Her eyes glanced to where Rachel had just left, then back to upstairs. But when Quinn Fabray stood before her, her expression went from amused to blank.

"Have you seen Finn?" the blonde asked her, twirling her hair around her finger as her other hand resting on her hip dramatically.

Bringing her cup to her lips and taking a sip, Santana just stared at her, "Nope."

Once the cheerleader had wandered off, her amusement came back. Turning towards the main door and lighting a cigarette, she left, without speaking another word.

Like she said, she would keep this a secret.


	3. congratulations on your accident

**The Steps of Life**

**Chapter 3**

**x-x-x**

_If I'm being completely honest, the only time that I remembered being sick was when I was 12 and I'd had some bad chicken. I've been a vegan since._

_So you can imagine my disdain when I had woken up on that horrible Friday morning, my head plunged over the toilet. I remember my daddy had knocked on the door to my bathroom, asking if everything was OK. What was I meant to tell him? That I'd previously attending a high school party and there was a risk I'd had alcohol poisoning. No, that would not have gone down so well._

_Instead, I'd told him that the peanut butter I'd eaten the night before. He bought it._

**Friday morning, at school.**

She didn't know why, but when she entered school that morning, everything seemed different.

Was it the new flyers hanging up on the walls? No.

Could it be the new Irish exchange student who no one could seem to understand? No.

Rachel decided to ignore the feeling, a different one had started to rise in her stomach. The overwhelming feeling of being sick. Running to the nearby girls' bathrooms, she locked herself quickly into one of the stalls and lifted the seat up.

And down it came.

**xx**

"Dude, you've been completely out of it since my party the other night! What's up?" Puck pushed him.

Finn turned his attention away from the Spanish teacher, "I'm fine, man. I've just been a bit... distracted." he said, throwing his book into his bag as the bell rang.

"Yeah, no shit." he mumbled in response, hurrying out of the classroom quickly, thankful to get the hell out of there.

As the students left the room, Finn trailed behind.

She was at the back of the class, organizing her books into a certain order before picking them up to leave. Rachel walked up to Mr. Schuester's desk, handing over a piece of paper.

"It's my assignment for next week. I'd already finished so I thought that I'd hand it in early." she smiled, pushing her folders tighter into her arms.

The teacher looked up at her and raised an eyebrow, "Uh, OK. Thank you, Rachel."

The brunette turned around, her eyes darkening when she spotted Finn standing just a few feet away from her. Her fingers nervously tapped against her books, "Um, hi." she started.

Finn looked down at her with a frown, "Are you okay? You haven't returned any of my calls."

She brushed past him, "I have no idea what you're talking about." he told him, raising her head high as she walked.

"What? What do you mean you don't-"

"Look, I'm just making this easier for you. If I ignore the situation, it's as though it never happened. Which means that you don't owe me _sorry. _I'm making your life easier, trust me." she cut him off, raising a hand and pointing her finger out.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about, actually." he told her, "I just- I don't think that we should tell anyone about us."

"So that you don't have to acknowledge my existence? Which I'm guessing is what you want."

He didn't want to ignore her, pretend that she wasn't there, that she didn't exist. That nothing had happened between them.

But he wouldn't tell her that.

He guessed that was what she wanted, given the way she was acting.

"Yeah, exactly."

He guessed wrong.

She was hurt. She wasn't being truthful to him, nor to herself. She didn't want to pretend that it didn't happen. She was just trying to do him a favor, by acting as thought it was what she wanted. As though she wanted him to ignore her, to go back to perfect girlfriend and she wouldn't feel any different. But she wanted his attention, because while it had lasted, she'd enjoyed it. It was the best feeling she'd ever gotten.

She didn't think that was what he wanted, given the way he was acting.

It was killing her.

But she wouldn't tell him that

With a final look at him, Rachel turned away,the sensation of vomit rising in her throat. She ran down the hallway to the bathrooms', the door slamming behind her.

Stood in place, Finn sighed.

Why was she acting so differently all of a sudden?

**xx**

Santana rolled her eyes, scratching the sides of her mouth out of irritation. "Are you done?" she asked.

"No, leave me alone." the voice answered, followed by what sounded like a hurl.

Raising an eyebrow, she walked toward the stall, "Did you have like a bad breakfast burrito or something?"

She'd never admit it, but she felt quite bad for Rachel. Sickness was not a pleasant feeling. She would know from experience.

But that was a whole difference situation.

When her father had died of testicular cancer, Santana had quit the Cheerios. She couldn't find anything fun about it anymore. Her father was her favourite person. He'd always encouraged her to succeed, to be better than the rest. But when he'd passed, she just couldn't find it in herself to do it anymore. She knew that he wouldn't approve, that he'd tell her to move on and achieve greatness. Instead of continued with his best wishes for her, she'd started smoking, and she'd developed bulimia.

She wasn't proud of it, it had just sort of happened. She'd eat to ease the numbness that she felt inside, but then later regret it, the idea that her weight was more important than her health at the time. Her mother was hard on her, herself shut down over the death. She depended on her, but she'd couldn't find herself delivering. Life was getting to hard, to hard to live up to it perfectly.

You can die at any time, at any moment of your life.

So why not mess it up while she still had a chance?

Over the past few months, she'd seeked help for the bulimia after someone had pointed out that she was becoming decreasing skinny. Her bulimia was soon turning into anorexia. She'd bucked herself an appointment at a psychiatrist's office, the meeting becoming more frequent as time passed.

Eventually, it had passed. But her smoking still remained.

Rachel glanced at her from over her shoulder, "I don't know what's wrong, OK? Just stop talking."

"Are you ill? Because if you are, I'd like to know now before I get any closer."

She didn't understand. Why was she so sick? And her attitude had changed, she wasn't as cheerful and poised as she was before. She'd first noticed the change a few days ago, the morning after Puck's party. Oh god, was that what this was about? She knew it, she had alcohol poisoning. Someone had poisoned her. There was no other explanation-

"Santana?"

The taller girl looked down at her, her hands tucking into the pockets of her jeans, "What, Berry? I'm not gonna help you wash your face if that's what you're asking." she warned her, pulling a disgusted face.

"No, it's not that," she started, flipping her hair behind her so it'd didn't get any puke in it, "Do you- can you go down to the pharmacy for me, please?" As soon as she asked the question, she gulped. Was she really doing this? Or was it stupid to even think about that possibility?

Santana stood upright, her eyes sending the other brunette a daring look. She was at a loss of words, "Um," she scratched her chin out of hesitance, "OK. Just stay here, alright?"

Rachel nodded, her head leaning over the bowl again, "Thanks."

When she'd woken up that morning, one thing that Santana had not planned was having to buy a pregnancy test.

**xx**

Puck held up two fingers, "Look, you've got two options. One, you can choose to come clean and tell Finn about us. Or two, you can choose to keep lying to him, but not expect anything else from me."

The blonde crossed her arms, "Really? It's really come down to this?"

"I'm just giving you a choice. It's yours to make."

"I can't believe that you're stooping this low. Can't we just keep doing what we have been, it's more fun." she questioned him, moving her fingers across his chest.

He pushed her hand away, "Choose."

Noah Puckerman was not going to beg. He was not that kind of guy.

"Puck-"

"Now." he demanded, "Keep lying to your boyfriend and become miserable, or choose me and become half of something great." he smiled down at her, resting a hand on her hip, "I wanna be with you, Quinn. Only you." he told her, his eyes boring into hers desperately.

"Why can't I just have both?"

"Because it's not fair!" he began, "It's not fair to my best friend-"

"One hell of a best friend you are." she interrupted, rolling her eyes.

He ignored her and continued, "It's not fair to my best friend who's going to eventually find out. And do you really think it's fair to me? Reeling me along, if you're not even going to choose me in the end. It's not fair, Quinn. Not even to you."

Quinn swallowed a breath, "I'm sorry," she backed away from him, running a hand through her hair.

"Please don't do this. Don't give up on me." He begged.

He'd given in to himself.

She didn't say another word as she walked off, her ponytail swinging with the wind on the football field.

Puck closed his eyes. He'd lost. She hadn't chosen him.

If that was the way it was going to be, if she wasn't going to care about him in return. Then fine, he'd return to the former Puck. The playboy.

Spotting one of the cheerleaders walking across the field, he called out to her "Hey, Pierce!"

The girl turned around, a smile forming on her face, "Hi, Puck."

"Wanna go and hook up?" he asked, returning to his older self.

Brittany scrunched her nose up in confusion, "Hook what up?"

He sighed and grabbed her hand, pulling her along with him.

**xx**

Her feet tapped against the tiled floor as she walked. Her fingers twiddling. Sure, she bought her fair share of pregnancy tests in the past. None of them positive, of course.

But this was different. It wasn't for her.

It was for a girl whose life she'd tormented, who she'd humiliated on numerous occasions when she was a Cheerio. But now things were different, she was not that person anymore.

She was the kind of girl who'd help her out. Maybe not by the tip of her fingers. But now that she payed attention, Rachel seemed like sort of a nice person. Someone who deserved a favor every now and again.

She found the aisle she was looking for, spotting the items on the end. As she stopped before them, she thought back.

What if she was pregnant? When did she get pregnant? Who got her pregnant?

Santana wasn't the smartest person, but she was far from being the dumbest. The musical geek could have had any number of the guys who she hung out with during practice.

She quickly grabbed a test of the rack, making sure nobody she recognized saw her. It was not going to become one of those situations.

Making her way to the counter, she handed over the money Rachel had given her.

The woman was taking her sweet time fondling the object before placing it in the bag, and Santana was growing impatient.

She wouldn't confess it to anyone, but she was becoming rather curious as to the result. She finally grabbed the bag, the elder woman calling a, _"good luck"_ behind her back.

Bitch.

**xx**

Rachel gulped, closing her eyes as crouched over the stick. Once she felt her pee hit it, she wondered if she was even doing it right. How many ways were there to do it?

What if she was pregnant? Her dads would surely kick her out, she'd be out within a second. Where would she go? Finn clearly didn't want anything to do with her. So that was a no-go. Santana? No. She didn't really have anybody else.

Pulling her underwear and skirt back up her legs, she shook the stick as the box said and opened the stall door.

Santana gave her a small smile, handing her a piece of cloth to wipe the excess of the stick.

_Two minutes left._

What was she doing? Had she really just taken a pregnancy test?

The time was slowly killing her.

Was it positive? Was it negative?

She felt an arm wrap around her shoulder and realized it was Santana. It was weird how certain circumstances brought people closer together.

"You're gonna be fine." she reassured her, "Believe it or not, I'm here."

Rachel gently smiled in return, hugging her back.

_Thirty seconds left._

She hadn't realized that a tear had fallen down her cheek.

Her life could change within the next twenty seconds.

_Ten seconds left._

She picked the stick up slowly, her eyes admiring the ceiling rather than the test.

"It's time." Santana told her.

She kept her eyes shut, avoiding the item, "Can you..."

The other girl nodded, grasping the stick and holding it up. She took a deep breath before reading the result.

Rachel's eyes snapped open, waiting for the answer.

Santana looked at her,

"Congratulations?"

_Shit._


	4. honesty, the worst lie

Thanks so much for the reviews on the last chapters, I've really appreciated reading what you guys have to say about the story. I'll try my best to update when I can, but school has just started again so I might not have as much time as I'd planned. And tomorrow, I won't be have my laptop, so maybe Sunday at the latest for the next chapter. Love,

* * *

><p><strong>The Steps of Life<strong>

_I once read somewhere that medicine was supposed to be the cure for the human cause._

_Truth be told, I never really understand that sentence._

_Did it mean that everything has a cure? That medicine that cure anything? Because that's false. It can't. Medicine can't cure cancer. Medicine can't cure heart attacks. Medicine can't cure a broken heart._

_And how the hell did medicine cure pregnancy?_

**Friday afternoon.**

"What are you gonna do?" she asked, raising an eyebrow curiously.

Rachel glanced up at her, "What do you mean '_what am I gonna do_'? I'm not getting rid of it."

Santana took another glance at the stick, thrown into the sink after they'd read the result. "You're gonna keep it? Is that really the best thing to do?"

"What else do you want me to do? I'm not having an abortion."

She nodded, chewing on her lip. She understood, abortion was basically like killing a human being. A human being who hadn't even had the chance to see the world. Sticking to her new self, she was going to help Rachel, come what may. Nobody deserved to be lonely when they were pregnant. And Rachel was clearly lonely.

But she couldn't help herself from asking one question.

"Who's the father?" Curiosity got the best of her.

"I don't really think that I should tell you that. You'd probably go broadcasting it around the school." Her insecurities and former past with Santana coming back to surface.

The other girl leaned against the wall, "Look, I'm not gonna tell anyone. I promise." she told her, holding her pinky out. "You should consider yourself lucky, I never make promises." She sent her a smile, her finger still held out.

Rachel grinned, raising her own pinky and locked it with Santana's, "I've only ever done it once." she informed her, "At Puck's party." Gulp. Santana was there, she had seen her. She figured with that little information she should catch on.

"Hudson? Well, I'll be damned. I thought you guys just made out, not really did it." Her eyes widened as she spoke, "He was your first? Does he know?"

She shrugged, "I'm guessing. Guys know, right?"

"Usually, but he's not exactly the brightest crayon in the box. Are you gonna tell him?"

"I- I don't know. I mean, I guess I probably should." Santana nodded as she listened, "This does kind of concern him."

"Not to interfere, but I think you should. Any guy deserves to know when they're gonna be a father."

Rachel nodded, a hand resting on her stomach.

Wonderful.

**xx**

**Sunday.**

"Kurt, I need to ask you something." Blaine started, sitting up on his bed, "Have you ever been... with a girl?" he asked, his eyes avoiding contact with the other boy's.

The boy nodded slowly, curious as to why he was asking him, "Yeah, with Brittany. Once. You know, the cheerleader?"

Blaine shook his head as a _yes_, "Did you feel different?"

"Blaine, I'm gay. You're gay. We're both gay. Maybe not together, but we're gay. For sure. I've seen your DVD collection. Why are you even asking me about girls?"

"I guess I just- I'm just curious. What if I'm only half-gay? What if I also like girls? What does that mean?"

Kurt gave him a strange look, "It would mean that you're bisexual. Look, if you plan on doing some experimenting, just make sure that I'm not in the room when you do. Actually, you know what? I'll just call you later when you feel better, because you're clearly developing some sort of condition that I do not want to catch. See ya."

He watched as the other boy picked up his jacket from the bed and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Maybe he was bi.

He knew for sure that his feelings for Kurt were growing, but what if that wasn't enough? What if he needed something else, something even more feminine than Kurt's pink shirt and white capri pants.

What if he was bi?

A little time with Brittany couldn't hurt, right? And that girl was down for anything. Male or female. She was bi, so maybe she could help him.

**xx**

"Rachel, someone's here for you." her daddy called from down the stairs.

The girl placed her book down. She was reading _'10 Steps to a Healthy Pregnancy'_. Santana had found the book for her. Tucking it under her pillows, safely hidden from her fathers' eyes, she opened her door before trailing her feet down to the main hall.

Finn.

"What are," she began, her voice shaking with nerves as she looked at him, "what are you doing here?"

He smiled up at her as she stood on the stairs, but her daddy interrupted him before he could speak.

"Sweetie, Finn's here to see if you could give him an extra tutoring session today."

Oh, Daddy, you have no idea.

She turned her attention away from Finn to her father, and back again. Really? That was _all_ he wanted?

"But I'm busy-"

"Oh, don't be silly. You've been hanging out in your room all weekend." he hushed her, patting Finn on the shoulder. "She'll be fine."

And he walked off.

Rachel took a deep breath, her eyebrow raising as she spoke, "A tutoring session?"

"How else was I going to get you to talk to me?" he asked, stepping up to her. "Your room?"

She turned reluctantly, he somehow managed to get her so rattled up.

As the pair entered her room, she quickly sat in front of her stack of pillows, making sure that the book was covered.

"What did you really want?"

Finn stepped closer to her, sitting down beside her on the bed. "I want to talk."

"Why?"

"Because you've been ignoring me and I don't want you to." he explained, his hand resting down next to hers.

She sighed, why was he making this so hard to do? Couldn't he just leave her alone? Couldn't they just leave the fact that he got her knocked up alone and stop talking? Oh right, he wasn't aware of that. Maybe Santana was right, she should tell him. He did deserve to know. It was his kid.

But she couldn't seem to control herself when he came near her and make her all nervous. Goosebumps crept up her back and arms when one of his fingers grazed against one of hers. This was crazy. She was getting all hot and bothered from a simple touch? She was turning crazy. He was turning her crazy.

"That wasn't what it sounded like the other day."

"I was just playing with what you were saying! You were the one who was acting as though nothing had happened, I didn't want to. I don't want to. I just thought that, that was what you had wanted."

Rachel shook her head, "No, you can't say stuff like that."

He was confused. What had he said exactly?

"Stuff like that?"

"Like you want to acknowledge me. Like you want to spend time with me. Like you want to be with me."

Finn stood, swallowing a breath as he looked her in the eyes, "You think I'm just saying that stuff?" he asked, "I'm not, OK? I do want to spend time with you."

She turned her attention to the floor, "But you don't want to be with me, right?"

Great, now she was back to sounding like the needy girl that got him here in the first place.

**xx**

"Oh, stop." Puck faked a laugh as the redhead told him a joke that he really didn't understand.

It wasn't working.

He had spotted Quinn across the mall from him over an hour ago. Since, he'd been trying to get her attention, make her jealous by the time he was spending with his current fling.

So far, she'd only rolled her eyes at his every attempt, paying closer attention to the Prom dresses that she was trying on.

What did he have to do?

The dumb redhead giggled as Puck smacked her on the butt and Quinn gave them a look in disgust.

To be fair, she did want to be with him. She would have chosen him any day. But popularity was everything and it was Finn who was the most popular guy in the school, Puck was only the second.

She wanted to remain on top of the social ladder for as long as she possibly could. Because once high school ended, she'd have nothing. Sure, she was beautiful and could find a husband, one of a higher class. But this was Ohio. Lima, Ohio. There was nothing special about it. And Quinn wanted, needed special.

She knew what he was doing. He was trying to make her jealous. Jealous enough to come crawling back to him and he'd then play her on a shoestring. Toy her along as though he didn't want her anymore when it wouldn't really be true.

Glancing to where he was, she noticed the way the slutty teenager hung over him as though she was a prostitute. It was disgraceful. And Quinn knew what Puck liked. And it was not what this girl was doing.

Turning her attention back to the dress she had on, she sighed. This was it. The one.

It was blue, and hung from around the neck. The silver ribbon around the waist hung to the bottom of the dress and the top half was covered in jewels. She looked like a modern-day Cinderella.

And Cinderella was her favourite fairy-tale.

All she needed was her Prince Charming.

Finn wasn't perfect, for her at least. But to stay on top, he would do.

Puck would make a fine substitute, though.

**xx**

"Hey, Brittany. Thanks for coming over." Blaine greeted her as she walked through the door to his house.

She handed him her coat, revealing her Cheerios uniform underneath.

"Wow, you guys even wear them on the weekends." he said, noticing her attire.

"Coach Sue makes us." she informed him, a smile on her face as she made her way over to the couch. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Right, yeah." He joined her on the sofa, turning his face and body towards her, "You like boys, right?"

Brittany nodded, her ponytail swinging back and forth, "And girls."

"That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Why?"

"Look, I'm gay, right? You know it, everybody knows it. But what I'm saying is... d'you think it' possible I like girls too?"

She gave him a confused look, "I don't know."

"But you do, right? You like boys and girls? What's- what's really the difference?"

"Boys kind of taste like beer and burgers. Sweet-lady-kisses are better."

"Really?"

She nodded, "Yeah, look."

Before he had a chance to comprehend what was happening, she'd leaned over and planted one on him. He had to admit, it felt great. It was great, and yet bad at the same time. It was so much different then kissing a boy. And when she slipped her tongue in his mouth, he realized tat it was more than the taste of burgers that made it different. It was the feeling.

When he kissed a boy, he felt alive. Like a part of him had been lit on fire. Like an explosion.

But with her, with a girl, there were fireworks for sure... but it wasn't the same amazing feeling.

She ran a hand through his gelled hair, breaking the ends. Bringing herself onto his lap, she broke away, "Burgers or sweet-lady-kisses?" she asked.

His eyes rolled around for a second, clearly his head of thoughts, "Yep, I'm gay." he told her, gently moving her off of him, "Burgers, definitely burgers."

**xx**

_"You need to tell him -x"_

Santana had somehow sent her the text when Finn was conveniently in the bathroom. Accurate timing.

She closed her phone down as he unlocked the door and exited.

She was going to tell him. She had to.

It was now or never.

"Look, Finn-"

He cut her off, "No, listen. I was an idiot, OK? I shouldn't have gone along with what you were saying yesterday, I should have been honest. Because I'm an honest person, so I'm not gonna lie anymore."

Rachel raised her eyes at him, he was making this harder by the second.

"Honest people tell the truth, so I'm going to." he started.

"Don't."

"What?"

She shook her head, "Don't be honest. Please. Be honest with me by not being honest."

Finn frowned, "What's so wrong with the truth?"

"What's wrong with the truth is that the truth hurts. When you tell the truth you're putting your heart out there, at the risk of it being smashed into pieces. Telling the truth, makes you a liar to yourself if you admit something that you don't necessarily want to. The truth makes you realize the mistakes you've made."

He knelt down in front of her, holding her face between his hands. "What are you not telling me?"

Rachel sighed, casting her eyes down for some of escape. She was trapped. She could either come clean or make up some bullshit story. But he wasn't an idiot. He'd know if she lied. Why did he make her feel like this? Feel like some moron who couldn't get words out.

Was it because she liked him? Because she did, alot. Was it because they had sex? Because she doesn't see that as a mistake.

But she'd let the words out and she knew that he was thinking she'd thought that it was a mistake. Why was she making it so hard for herself?

No good could come from lying about it, but no good would come from telling the truth either. So which one was it going to be?

Now or never.

His index finger placed itself under her chin, bringing her face up and closer to his.

She couldn't help it but she felt the overwhelming desire to kiss him. His breath on her lips was making her tremble. Her eyes closed as she felt his lips press against hers, a hand running through her hair delicately. A moan let out from her as his tongue slipped into her mouth.

Gently pulling away, she rested her forehead against his.

Why did he have to keep kissing her? It wasn't making anything easier.

Now or never.

Finn rubbed his nose against hers, his hands cupping her face softly, "Tell me. Please." His shaking voice made the words seem like a beg.

Rachel took a deep breath before whispering, "I'm pregnant."


	5. before you ask, i'll accept

I know that I didn't update when I said I would, but I had a migraine from Disneyland, school came back and to top it all off, I sprained my ankle in my first gym class of the year. So, excuse me. This chapter isn't that long, but I just wanted to get something out there so you knew I was still alive and writing. I'll try to update more over the weekends. Love,

* * *

><p><strong>The Steps of Life<strong>

_There wasn't really much to it. It was simple. Pregnant. One word. Two syllables. Eight letters. It was simple._

_When the word had slipped from my lips, I knew that I'd done the right thing. It might take a while to make sense, for me to fully realize my situation. But it was the right thing to do. The guy had fathered a child, anyone deserved to know when they'd done that. When they'd created another human being. When they'd created a life._

It all changed within an instant.

She'd spoke. He'd sat in silence for a few moments before finally capturing her words.

"Pregnant?" he swallowed, "Like... with a baby?"

Rachel looked down, "Yes. Pregnant... with a baby. My baby. Your baby." she elaborated, her fingers twitching together. What other way could she put this?

He slowly nodded, rubbing his hands together nervously, "My baby." Finn sighed, repeating her words. He ran hand through his hair roughly, standing up to pace the room. One thing that he hadn't expected when he'd woken up that morning was to be told that he was a father. That some girl was pregnant with his child. With his bearing. His baby, "Our baby."

A blush crept up on her face as he spoke, and she didn't realize why. What about this was making her all timid and loser-like exactly? Was it him? His face? His body? The way he always seemed to make her feel undermined? Or was it the thought of the fact that she'd be giving birth to her high school-crush-slash-hot-quarterback's baby? It was stupid really? How did she end up like this? In a moment of weakness.

"Did we not use-?"

She cut him off, shaking her head, "No. No, we did not." She pursed her lips after speaking, her hands tapping themselves together.

Finn rested his head against the wall to her bathroom, hands shuffling into the back pockets of his jeans. "What do you want to do about it?"

"What do you mean _what do I want to do about it? _What do you want to do about it?" She stood, frowning as she looked at him.

"What?"

Rachel breathed out, "It takes two to tango, Finn!" The crimson color had drained from her face, and she was back to being the controlling teenager.

"I know that! I just thought-" he started, turning around to face her, "I thought that you'd want to decide on the big things. You're the one who's going to have to carry it for the next nine months." he told her, his hands raising in the air as though it was obvious.

Being an honest person, she spoke up, "I want to keep it." Her eyes closed, a tear trailing down her cheek.

She didn't know where it had come from, not having felt it gather in the corner of her eye. Wonderful, now she was the stupid little girl again. He wasn't going to feel any sympathy for her, he'd want nothing to do with her. He'd want to go back to his regular 17-year old life, go back to his perfect girlfriend, and leave Rachel to fend for herself. Any teenage guy who didn't want to be tied down for the rest of his life through such a big commitment would be stupid no to.

"OK." She hadn't expected that to be his reaction.

"What?" Rachel managed to squeak out, gulping a breath.

Finn looked down at her, walking closer and placing a hand on the back of her neck, his thumb resting gently under her chin. There was something about her face that just made him crazy. "OK. If you want to keep it, then I'll be here." he smiled, "Day and night. You shouldn't have to do it on your own."

She blinked slowly, nibbling on her lower lip again. It was becoming a compulsive habit since she'd discovered what it did to do. "Really? You're sure about this?"

Everything was turning crazy lately. In what world would he possibly agree to this?

"Yeah," he frowned to himself, making sure that he was positive of his words, "Yeah, I am."

Rachel couldn't help herself, jumping up to hug him, "Thank you." She felt an arm wrap around her, the other still placed on her neck. She could definitely get used to this, to the feel of him against her. To being this close.

She cut her thoughts short, pulling away from him. A smile was plastered on her face, her eyes full of glee as she glanced up at him.

Finn grinned, running his fingers through her hair, taking his time to let his other hand trail down her back, ever so delicately. She was perfect to him. Her face. Her eyes. Her nose. Her lips. Her body. Her hair. Her bottom. Her breasts. Her legs. The soft crease in her neck. She was beautiful. And it still shocked him that she had been surprised when he'd told her so.

"I have to break up with Quinn."

She raised her head, her face confused, "Now?"

"At Prom. After they announce King and Queen, I'm doing it. I'm done with her." Hhe leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips, "I wanna be with you, Rachel."

Nothing else was said.

**Wednesday.**

It had been three days. Give or take. Three days since Rachel had realized that she needed a date to the Prom. She was going, she had to. This year, it was going to work out in her favor.

She'd decided to ask Santana. As friends, of course. The girl was surely going to turn down any idiots who dared ask her. And Rachel could convince anyone to do anything.

She'd been all through the bleacher, expecting to find the smoker on an aisle, isolating herself from anyone else.

Rachel found herself in the library, spotting Santana sat alone. Her feet were up on the table as she flicked through her book.

Walking over, she set her own books down, "Hi, I have a favor to ask of you."

Santana closed her book, slopping it on the table and raising an eyebrow at the petite brunette. "And that would be..."

"Let's go to Prom."

"No thanks, I don't do girls." Somehow, her face didn't seem to agree with what she was saying.

She rolled her eyes, taking a seat, "No, as friends. I have to go; Finn's breaking up with Quinn. For me and the baby."

"Seriously, it's taken him long enough." she stated, picking up a pencil from the desk and sliding it between her mouth, chewing on the eraser. "I'm happy for you, Yentl. Really, I am. But what does this have to do with me?"

Rachel took a deep breath before continuing her request, "Because I don't have anyone else to go with and I find it would be very sad for me to go alone. Don't you agree?"

Santana sighed with a small grin, "You're really taking the whole _'I'll be here' _for the long run, huh? Trying to squeeze out every last drop?"

"Please?"

"I don't usually go, given it's just a bunch of morons in dresses and suits getting wasted while listening to mind-numbing music. But since you're in what's clearly a _desperate_ state, I'll go with you." She smiled softly, placing a hand down and taking Rachel's, "I'm not promising to be on my best behavior, so you're gonna have to take what you can get."

Rachel smiled back brightly, standing up to walk over and hug the girl from behind, "Thank you, thank you, thank you. OK, I'll see you later. I've gotta go and hand my paper over in Spanish."

Santana shook her head with a chuckle as the girl left the room.

She knew she'd regret this.

**xx**

Everything seemed to be working it great. Her life was working out great. Maybe not everything about it, but most parts.

In a few weeks, she'd have a boyfriend. A boyfriend she'd been craving after for God-only-knows how long. A boyfriend who'd have gotten her pregnant, prior to said boyfriend-becoming. Pregnant with a baby. A baby that she'd been giving birth to in about eight months. She made a memo to tell her fathers of her predicament.

She was walking to fast towards her classroom, that she'd walked into a student.

"I am so sorry." The voice was male, and Rachel didn't recognize it.

She looked up, the face no more familiar than the voice, "No, it was my fault. Really, I'm sorry."

The guy laughed awkwardly, "Why don't we call it a tie?"

Rachel smiled, "Sure. I'm Rachel, but the way."

"I'm Jesse. Nice to meet you."

She took instant note of his hairstyle. It was gelled back, held together by hairspray. His clothes were all black, apart from the bright red bracelet around his arm. The shoes on his feet were shiny, polished to the max. If her gay-dar was telling her anything, it was that he was gay.

"I'm going to sound really blunt," she warned him, "but you're gay, right?"

He creased his eyebrows in confusion, "How did you know that?"

"I have two gay dads, I can spot you guys a mile away. I didn't offend you, did I? I just like to be proved right."

Jesse gave her a smile, "No, not offended." He pushed his bag further up his shoulder and whispered, "Just don't tell anyone."

The pair laughed as they continued to talk. Rachel Berry had made a new friend.

For now.


	6. hurting ourselves for each other

**A/N:** In the first chapter, I wrote that Rachel was a sophomore. Soon after, I changed my mind; she's a junior. Sorry for the slight misunderstanding. Because of the delay, I'm make this one extra long for you guys. Love, me.

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><p><strong>The Steps of Life<strong>

_I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. Sure, I'd expected that the day would finally arrive. It was going to happen, I just wasn't waiting for it to happen._

_And when it did, it was just sprung on me, like some middle-aged guy who'd just been told that he'd fathered a kid back when he was twenty-two, smoking pot in his college dorm and hooking up with sluts in the back of a mini van._

_Then again, I hadn't exactly planned for any of this to happen._

**Two weeks later,**

Rachel threw her bag down, the contents rolling out onto her bed. She picked up her diary and opened it to the most recent page. She hadn't updated in a few days, and today was feeling quite good.

The Prom was slowly coming together; the decorations, the dates, the dresses. She'd been shopping with Santana a few days before and they'd picked out what they were going to wear.

Santana had picked a long on-strapped red dress. Roses adorned the strap and the top of the dress. And Rachel had chosen a simple light pink dress. It was short, cutting off just below the knee and flowed as she spun around. It was glittery, and strapless. And thankfully, her pregnant belly wasn't noticeable.

She smiled, scribbling a few words down as she heard a tap on her door. "Come in."

Her daddy entered the room, holding his hands behind his back. He pushed the door shut behind him quietly, before walking over to her bed and sitting down across from her. "Sweetie, how was school?"

"It was OK." she told him, brushing a strand of hair away from her face.

He glanced around the room nervously, swallowing a breath, "Have you been..." he stopped himself, taking another look at her before continuing, "feeling okay, lately?" he asked, his hands coming around to his front and placing a book in his lap.

His palms covered the front so she couldn't see what it was.

The girl closed her diary, slipping it under her pillow. As her hand felt the cold bare surface of her sheet, she gulped.

Where was her pregnancy book?

He couldn't. No, he couldn't have done. They couldn't have done. They never went through her stuff, they could not have found it. It was perfectly well hidden, safely tucked away under her pillows. Tucked away under the three huge pillows and five little cushions that displayed her bed. And she'd made her bed, so they had no reason what-so-ever to mess with her bed. She'd made her bed. She'd made her be-

She hadn't made her bed.

"Sweetie, we're not mad." He held the book up slightly, handing it over to her.

Oh God, her life was over. This was it. They were going to kick her out. She'd be homeless, living on the streets. On the streets and pregnant. A disappointment.

"Daddy," she broke down, tears coming down her face all of a sudden. "I'm so sorry." she made a move to hug him, but he placed a hand softly gently against her shoulder. "I'm so, so sorry..." she cried, "Please forgive me."

"We're not mad." he repeated, standing up and crossing his arms over his chest. "But we have to think seriously about this. You're pregnant. Pregnant. Our little star. Sweetie, what happened? We raised you right."

She shook her head, "I know, I know you did. It was a mistake." she started, "Not a mistake, but an error on my part. It was just one time, and it just happened."

"I understand that, Sweetheart." He stroked her hair gently, "How long?"

"About a month. At a party."

Her Daddy nodded, scratching the back of his neck nervously, "And..." he dreaded having to ask the question. Was she drugged? Was she date-raped? Or maybe it was just a pure moment of stupidity? "Who?"

"Finn Hudson."

He looked down at her, shock on his tongue, "Him? Really, Rachel? Him?"

"You said you weren't mad!"

"That was before you told me who did this to you!"

A tear rolled as she listened to him, "We didn't plan this."

"I let him into my house, Rachel. I let him in when you were already in this position. What did he want, because I'm guessing that it wasn't to study."

"That's when I told him. He came around to ask how I was and I just snapped. I didn't mean to tell him, it just happened. And I didn't mean for _this_ to happen and you know that, so stop trying to make it out as though I did this on purpose, because I didn't!"

What exactly had he said to make her think that?

"I hope you know what this means."

Rachel rolled her eyes, oblivious to what he was saying, "Yes, OK? I know! I know that my future's ruined! I know that it's my fault! I know that, OK? I know I'm never going to get to go to New York and live out my dream. I know that I've ruined the course of my life. I know that."

"That is not what I was talking about, Rachel." he warned her, frowning as he spoke, "You can still do all of those things, we can make it like this never happened."

Was he really saying what she thought he was?

"I'm not having an abortion."

"I meant adoption, Rachel."

Her eyes widened.

"It's the only way that you'll still be able to have the life you want, the life you deserve. Once the baby comes, it'll go live with its new parents and never know any different. You can still have the life, Sweetie. All you have to do is agree."

But could she?

**xx**

"Carol! Where's my hairspray?" Kurt yelled throughout the house, his feet slamming their way up the stairs. He stopped halfway up and placed his hands on his hips dramatically, closing his eyes as he lent back against the wall, his back resting on the edge of the banister.

"I put it in your room after I used it this morning!" the woman shouted back.

Ever since Kurt's dad, Burt, had met Carol, there had been an immediate connection between the pair. Within the sake of two weeks, they'd moved in together. Of course the situation had created some problems when Carol's son, Finn, was forced to share rooms with Kurt. The arrangement wasn't convenient for either of the two, so their parents had recently bought a new home, one where the boys each got their own space.

As much as he despised the idea of not being the only teenager in the house, a teenager who liked his space, Kurt admitted that it had its perks. Finn was popular, and by sexuality, Kurt wasn't. Gay people weren't exactly the most popular at school. But since they became a "family," Finn had started to stick up for his _brother_ around school. He wasn't getting bullied, tormented, and teased as much, people actually acknowledged him, and as a future star, Kurt enjoyed the attention.

"OK, thank you." He continued up the stairs.

He grabbed the tin bottle from the table beside his door when she'd left the spray and turned around to head to the bathroom.

As he pushed the door open, he noticed Finn was sat on the side of the bath, holding his phone up to his ear. He placed a finger in front of his lips, a sign to keep quiet. Kurt nodded and closed the door behind him, shutting them both inside. He placed the bottle down and picked up his comb. Running it through his hair gently, he listened in on the conversation.

"Well, what do you mean?"

He raised an eyebrow to himself in the mirror. What happened?

"How did they find out? You didn't tell them, did you? 'Cause now they're probably going to beat me ass." As the person on the other end of the line said something that was, apparently, funny, Finn chuckled, but stopped when he saw the look Kurt was sending him. His voice softened as he spoke, "Can I see you tomorrow? After the game? Yeah, I'll be in the parking lot, so just come to the car, okay? OK, bye."

Kurt creased his forehead. Who was he talking to?

Finn stuffed his phone back into his jean's pocket and sighed, placing his head in his hands.

"Are you OK?" the boy asked, washing his hands under the running tap to clean off the excessive hair gel.

The quarterback lifted his head, scratching the back of his neck. Kurt knew what that meant, he was nervous. Why?

"Yeah, I'm fine. What are you talking about? I'm great. See 'ya later." He couldn't have left the room any faster.

Kurt held the canister up to his hair, spraying the contents out as he watched him leave.

What the fuck?

**xx**

**Friday night.**

"Finn! Finn! Finn!" The audience cheered, their giant foam hands waving and clapping together.

Rachel didn't know what it was, but there seemed to be some sort of amazing atmosphere at a high school football game. Was it the spirit of the cheerleaders who tried their best to get everyone warmed up before the game started? Was it the way each player kept yelling out, cheering on their teammates? Was it the coach's screaming demands towards her players, telling them to focus and get their heads in the game. Or was it the fact that, for once, the McKinley High Titans were winning?

She didn't know. She'd never been to a game before, as awful as that probably sounded for a high school student. Wasn't it mandatory, or something?

The beepers sounded off and the whistle blew, signaling that it was a time-out. A few people sat around her started moving, which she guessed was to stock up on more snacks. It was like the break during a film at the movies. There was only one minute and ten seconds left in the game, how fast did they plan to eat?

She wasn't going to move. She'd come with Santana, but the girl had disappeared somewhere within the first ten minutes of the game. Probably making out with some random under the bleachers for a free smoke. Beggars can't be choosers.

She turned her attention to the cheerleaders as they started to assemble towards the middle of the field. Oh god, what now? As if their routine to the Pussycat Doll's _Don't Cha _before the game hadn't been enough, they were at it again.

The music to Beyonce's_ Run The World _started and the slutty blonde girl who always hung around Quinn started singing as she danced along to the music. The other cheerleaders joined in, mirroring her moves and began singing back up. Quinn stood at the front, beside her friend. She wasn't happy with this. Not only, wasn't she the lead, but this song was fucking stupid for a football game. What idiot would sing a song about women being the shit at a match where the _women_ were cheering on the _men_?

_Who run the world? Girls!_

_Who run this motha? Girls!_

Seriously?

On the other side of the bleachers, Kurt sat quietly next to Blaine.

"I don't mean to pry, but you've been really quiet today and I find it weird." he blurted out.

Kurt turned to look at him, a blank expression on his face, "No, I'm fine. It's Finn. I think he's hiding something."

"And, again, I'm not being rude, but how is that your problem, anyway?" Blaine asked, pulling his jacket closer to his body when a cold gush of wind hit him.

"It's not my problem. Or my anything. But you know me, a little, and I'm just curious. I can't help it, I just really want to know what he's hiding?." he told him, spinning his head and attention back to the field. Curiosity always got the better of him.

"Maybe he's not hiding anything. Maybe you just misunderstood what you heard."

"No, I know I didn't. It was something about the way he was speaking. It was secretive, like he didn't want me to understood what he was saying."

"Well, what did he say exactly?"

Kurt thought back, "Something about telling someone something, then he laughed. And then it got serious. OMG, we have to spy on him after the game!" he nearly cried out. He clapped his hands together excitedly, thinking of a possible plan.

Blaine shook his head with a small laugh, "Don't you think that you're making a big deal out of nothing? Maybe he was just talking to Puck about another one of the football guys. Or maybe it was Quinn." He shrugged, there were many reasons.

"No, he talks differently to Puck, like _"Hey Bro, see 'ya later, Man!" _Trust me, it was not Puck."

"And Quinn?"

He bit his lip, "Maybe, but he told whoever it was to meet him at his car and Quinn wouldn't even go near that piece of crap and he knows it. So that rules her out."

Blaine raised his eyebrows as though what he was about to say was so obvious, "Well then, we're just going to have to spy on him and his precious car after the game."

Kurt shrieked of excitement.

Perfect.

**xx**

"Guys! Listen!" Coach Beiste yelled, holding up her clip-board and snapping her fingers out of irritation. "We have to keep up this lead! Puckerman, you go deep! You go so deep, I want you to look like a ant, you got it? Chang, Evans, you block Hudson." the boys nodded, "Hudson, you got this!"

Finn slowly nodded, reality kicking in that everything depended on him. What if he couldn't do it? What if he made them lose? She'd kill him. The team would kill him.

"Alright. Let's go, Titans!" the thick woman yelled and the team screamed on after her. As they exited the locker-rooms and made their way back out onto the field, Finn trailed behind.

The cheerleaders left the field, their performance ended. Quinn rushed over to him quickly, "You're coming to Mike's party later, right?" she flicked her ponytail and placed a quick kiss against his lips. He brushed a hand against his lower lip, wiping away her taste. She didn't even notice.

But Rachel did. Sure, it killed her to see the blonde kiss him. But they were still together, it was normal. He wasn't going to cut off all ties immediately. S smile had appeared when she'd seen him wipe her away.

"I don't think I am. I've got work early tomorrow and I just-"

The blonde rolled her eyes, "Whatever, I'll see you later."

She didn't want to hear his lies.

The players got into position on the field, after Puck had another round of name calling every player on the other team.

"Hey, Chops! Nice Stars Wars sheets! Tell your mom I say hi!" he yelled out to the player with overwhelmingly large teeth.

"Puckerman, here! Now!"

Puck ran over, patting Beiste on the back, "Sorry, Coach. Gotta keep their spirits up, you know..." he joked, eliciting a soft chuckle from the woman. He got into position beside Finn, holding his fist out.

"Winners?"

Finn smiled in return, tapping his fist back against his, "Champions."

**xx**

Champions.

They'd won.

They hadn't even needed much, just the patronizing of the other team, via Puck, and the last five seconds to score the winning touchdown, via Finn.

"Titans! Titans! Titans!" he crowd cheered, a few foam fingers being thrown about in the air.

Rachel smiled, understanding the atmosphere.

Descending down the bleachers, she made her way down into the corridors. Feeling a hand being placed against her back, she jumped.

The girl laughed behind her, "Scared, Berry?" Santana teased.

She rested a hand against her chest to calm herself "Where were you? You left me by myself!"

"I was busy; getting busy."

"Yeah, I guessed..."

Santana put an arm around her shoulders and led her towards the main entrance. "So, how was it?"

"You're the one who hooked up, shouldn't I be the one asking that question?" Rachel questionned back.

"You lose the feeling after a while. I meant your first high school football game. Well?"

Rachel shrugged, "It was OK. They won."

"Seriously? There's a first." she stated, pulling another cigarette out of the pack.

Rachel grabbed it from her fingers and tossed it into the trash can next to her, "No."

"You're not my mom. You want my help and friendship, I want my smokes. It's a two-way street." she told her, quickly pulling out another one out with a smirk plastered on her face.

The smaller brunette shook her head, unbelievable.

Someone hit her side, sending her into Santana. She turned and spotted the gay boy from her math class.

He held a hand up apologetically, "Oh, sorry." Blaine smiled beside him, grabbing his hand and pulling him along.

"Come on, we're going to miss them."

**xx**

"Quinn!" he called out, "Quinn, wait!"

The blonde sighed angrily, turning back around abruptly, "What?"

Puck caught up with her, catching her arm in his hand gently, "Will you just talk to me?"

She breathed out heavily, rolling her eyes again. She'd been in a strop all day and he wanted to know why.

Was it because of Finn? Because of her mom? Or because of him?

"Talk to you about _what_, Puck?"

"About anything!" he answered back.

Quinn looked down, her arm wriggling free from his grasp, "I have nothing to say. And you know that, so please just leave me alone."

"I can't just leave you alone. Don't you get that?" he asked, shaking his head out of confusion, "I've been telling you for weeks how I feel and you've just been distancing yourself from me, further and further. And I'm sick of it. You might not have anything to say yet, but I'm all out of words."

"You know what? I don't care." she folded her arms over her chest, "I don't care about you and your words. I don't care about how you feel. I don't care about you." she made a note to ignore the tearful expression in his eyes, "I care about me. And right now, _me_ needs to stay away from _you_. Don't _you _get that?"

What was she meant to do? Tell him she wanted to be with him, she wanted to care about him, she wanted to be his. Because she couldn't She couldn't do that to herself, or to him. It wouldn't be right. In reality, it would be perfect, a perfect scenario where everything would work out right, be all bright and shiny. But it wouldn't work like that. Life was much more complicated. And so were feelings. And truth be told, she didn't _really_ know how she felt about him.

"You don't care that I love you?"

She couldn't do this.

Was he trying to kill her?

"Goodbye, Puck."

He made a note to ignore the tears trailing down her face.

**xx**

"He's going to see us here!" Kurt whispered out.

Blaine hushed him with his finger, "No, he won't. Relax. Besides, he's got other stuff to worry about."

Kurt nodded, "True."

The two then sat in silence for the next five minutes. Where was he? His car was in full sight, and he wasn't in it. He hadn't even left the building. What the hell? The game had ended over half an hour ago, where the hell was he?

Kurt stood up, huffing out, "That's it. I'm out. The meeting spot has clearly changed via text message and we missed the memo. I'm leaving." As he went to step around the side of the dumpster, he heard footsteps coming from the building. "Shit!" he shrieked, resuming his spot back next to Blaine.

Blaine chuckled at the thought of them nearly being caught out. They were in a perfect spot and had a clear shot of Fin''s crappy truck. They didn't move an inch as Finn neared the vehicle, getting in the driver's side.

After he threw his bag into the back, he rested his hands on the wheel. His head lent back against the long rest that crossed the front seats. His truck might be crappy, but damn, was it comfy.

A few moments passed but the boys almost gave up again, Blaine spoke, "Maybe they already talked..." he suggested.

Kurt shrugged him off, "Oh, hush. They're coming. I did not ruin my favourite bottoms for nothing. I smell like week-old lasagna so believe me, they better show up. Or you can arrest me for fucking murdering them."

Silence passed over them as they spotted the brunette who Kurt had bumped into earlier. The two shared a look as she walked to wards Finn's truck.

What the actual fuck? Her?

Rachel Berry? Resident diva and winning loser? With Finn? Resident hottie and winning football star?

_WTF? _The expression that now crossed their faces.

She looked around, before placing a hand against the handle and pulling the door to the passenger's side open. She moved into the car, closing the door and dropping her bag onto the floor.

The guys sat in silence as they watched the interaction.

**xx**

Finn lifted his head, hearing the door to his truck close. He smiled as he spotted Rachel sat beside him, digging in her bag for something before dropping it to the floor. She held up a pen and grasped his hand.

He frowned of confusion when she wrote a phone number down, and she felt the need to explain, "My dad's took my phone. So this is Santana's number." She put the cap back on the pen and threw in back into her bag. "You know, in case you wanna call."

With a nod, he kept one hand rested against the wheel as the other came down to rest on her leg, on the inside of her knee, "What happened?"

She took a breath, "They found a book that Santana gave me."

"What did they say?" He looked straight ahead. He never thought that he'd be having this conversation.

"They... they want me to give it up for adoption." She told him, spitting the words out as though as though she'd been holding them in for months.

Finn sighed, turning to look at her, "Adoption..."

"Yeah... but they want me to decide. And I- I can't do that." her voice broke as she spoke, tears starting to form in her eyes, "I can't do it. I can't decide. I can't give my baby up. I can't do this by myself. I just can't." He wrapped an arm around her back, pulling her into him. He rested his head atop of hers, running a hand through her hair soothingly.

"It's OK. You don't- _We_ don't have to decide right now. Okay?" she slowly nodded against his chest. She'd broken down again. Again.

Rachel gulped, gently pulling away from him, "You're gonna... help me, right?" She thought that she sounded so stupid asking the question. But she needed some sort of verification, of clarification that he'd be there. Be here, for her. For her and for the baby. For her baby, for his baby. For their baby.

"Do you really have to ask that?"

She smiled, taking a breath before leaning up and kissing him. His hands grasped the base of her neck and her back as she shifted her weight, moving into his lap. How did they always end up like this? Her hands tugged on his hair and he pulled her closer to him. She moaned out when his tongue brushed against hers and his hands that was on her back found its way to her thigh. His fingers trailed up, over her stomach and stopping. He rested his palm of her belly, and she smiled down at him. Her pregnant belly wasn't very prominent and barely noticeable as she wasn't that far along.

Her hands moved to the edges of his top and tugged at it. She needed this. Needed him. Everything was so fucked up lately that she needed some sort of relief. Something to keep her from going crazy. Something like him. Someone like him.

"Rach," he started and she smiled. "Are you-"

"I'm fine." she cut him off. She pulled the shirt over his head, throwing it into the back of his truck, and pressing her body against his. His mouth left hers and traveled down her neck to her collarbone, kissing, licking and nibbling the sweet skin. She bit her bottom lip, with a small grin when she realized that she was doing it again. Again.

Finn pulled away from her briefly, adjusting his position and holding her hips to keep her steady. She gulped as she removed her own top, and wrapped her arms around his neck, clasping together behind him. He resumed by kissing down between her breasts, his hands creasing her skirt up slowly. She helped him lift it higher by raising her body above him, before plopping herself back down on top of him. He smiled at her, "Do you have any idea how sexy you are when you do that?" he asked, pulling her face towards his again and crushing his lips against hers passionately.

Rachel giggled, "No. But I have an idea." she told him as her hand crept over the bulge in his pants. He groaned out loud as she groped him, holding back a breath.

He pushed her back gently, her body laying down across the front seat, underneath him. She smiled up at him, grabbing the sides of his face between her hands.

He was making her crazy.

**xx**

Across the parking lot, Kurt and Blaine had turned their attention away from Finn's truck once the clothes had started to shed.

Instead, they were only staring at each other. An identical expression on both of their faces.

_What the fuck?_


	7. guide me home to you

I'm trying to update this story faster, and really move it along. Because, and I warn you now, I have already planned a sequel. I know, it's so soon but I know where this story is headed and believe me, there needs to be a second part. After that, we'll see how it is. The next update should be over the weekend, and because it's the PROM chapter, I really can't wait to get writing! And thanks so much for the reviews up to now, they keep me going. PS: I recommend that you listen to _Fix You_ while reading the last part of this chapter, I had it on repeat and it kind of inspired me to change the ending. Love, me.

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><p><strong>The Steps of Life<strong>

_I haven't really thought about how much this baby would actually mean to me._

_Should I be thinking about this, about the possibility of actually keeping it? Or should I be thinking of adoption like my fathers had suggested?_

_It didn't seem like that great of an option, but I had to admit, it was pretty much the only one that I had if I wanted to continue living my life normally._

_The question was: did I really want to keep living this life?_

**Saturday morning,**

Finn woke up to the sound of his mobile phone going off, the familiar ringtone blasting his ears. He rolled over in his bed, his hand swipping across his bedside table to reach it. He grabbed the phone, pressed 'answer' and pulled it up.

"Dude, finally! It's like the fiftieth time I've called!" Puck seemed to shout. He was either really loud, or Finn was just really tired and his consciousness hadn't fully kicked in. It was only, he checked the alarm clock, five o'clock in the morning?

He groaned, pulling a pillow over his face as he grumbled, "Jesus, man. What the fuck? Did you get stoned last night?"

Puck creased his brows on the other end of the line, "Huh?"

"Well, why else would you be calling me at five in the morning..."

"Because you bailed on us guys last night and now I'm fucking curious." Puck started, clearly going to pry, "So? Who was she?" If it wasn't for the fact that Finn knew that Puck was the most testosterone-driven guy around, he'd have thought that he sounded dangerously similar to a thirteen year old girl asking her best friend how her first date went.

He sat up slowly in his bed, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes and letting out a yawn. What was he supposed to say? _'I hooked up with Berry, upper-class loser. Again.'_? Yeah, he figured that wouldn't go down well for anyone.

Truth was, after the game, him and Rachel had _gotten it on_. Again. Afterwards, they'd spoken a bit before he'd dropped her off at her house.

He hadn't gone in. He totally would have done, but she'd told him what her daddy had said and to be frank, he did not want to have to face him. Have to face him, them, and their hundreds of burning questions. How he could have done this to their daughter. How irresponsible he was, they were. How he enjoyed taking advantage of her. And he had a feeling, that no matter what he might of have said, even if it was the truth, they wouldn't have heard it. Instead, they'd have believed the worst. The worst being that he was useless piece of crap who had got their daughter pregnant and couldn't wait to get the hell out of her life. The worst would be a lie.

Truth was, he'd be around for as long as she wanted him to be.

"Dude... pick up." He shrugged his thoughts away, hearing the reminder that his best friend was still on the phone.

"Sorry, what?"

He heard him mutter on the other end, "I asked what time you were going to Prom on Friday? 'Cause I don't really feel like picking up my date, and having to hang around with her while you fuck around and take your sweet time."

Finn rolled his eyes, "Whatever, man. I don't know, I have to check with Quinn."

He wasn't really looking forward to the Prom. Sure, there was Rachel, and he was definitely going to go ahead and dump Quinn after she'd won her tiara and made herself happy for the night. But beyond that? Nothing much. What else was there to be excited about? The sight of Puck getting wasted, and possibly doing another drunken chicken-dance, followed by a striptease to '_Sex Bomb_'? Yeah, nothing much.

"Besides, who are you going with?" he asked, guessing Puck had selected a random Cheerio to be his date to this _joyous_ occasion. Probably one who he hadn't slept with yet, only so that he could cross her off the list by the end of the night.

On the other end, Puck couldn't seem to reply.

Who was he going with? He hadn't even thought about it before, too preoccupied with Quinn. He was trying to figure out how to get her to dump Finn, his best friend and guy he was currently speaking to. He'd been so sure of himself, of the way he'd acted around her recently that he'd convinced himself that he was the clear choice for her, the right guy for her. But she hadn't felt the same way. Clearly.

Great, now what was he going to tell him? Finn was surely going to make fun of his ass. Noah Puckerman without a date, six days before his Junior Prom. What the fuck was wrong with him? Finn was going with the girl, the only girl, Puck would actually enjoy taking to the dance, and here he was, alone. Lonely. Dateless. But being who he was, he was not going to let some stupid girl get in the way of him and his Prom. Oh, no. Any girl would be lucky to go with him. He was so right, he'd have a date by this afternoon. He was so, so right. Right?

He was so wrong.

**xx**

"What the hell are we going to do?" Kurt paced back and forth, a finger tapping against his chin.

Blaine had arrived at his house at around noon, and up until now, the two boys had avoided any sight of Finn. What were they meant to say? _Hey, we watched you and some crazy loser make-out last night in your car. We were spying on you._

Yeah, that wouldn't work.

Kurt sat down on his chair, placing his elbows down on the desk and resting his head between his hands. "Think, Kurt. Think."

"Maybe we should just... pretend that it didn't happen." Blaine suggested, sending the other boy a curious look. It's usually what people did when they wanted to forget about something. Forget it happened. Pretend it didn't. Pretend as though nothing was different. But he changed his mind when he saw the look Kurt was giving him.

"Were you blind?" Kurt gasped, getting back up and continuing to pace the room. "I cannot forget about it! It was disturbing! My step-brother getting it on with some loser, what the hell was he thinking? At the worst I thought it'd be just a little peck with Quinn, for Christ's sake! But no, oh no. No, my vision has been compromised." He held up a hand and covered his eyes, leaning his head back dramatically.

Blaine raised an eyebrow, "Don't you think you're making a much bigger deal out of this than it already is? I mean, let's just talk to him, to them, and see what they say..."

He should really stop suggesting stuff.

"Are you crazy? He is a footballer, an american football player. The fucking captain, for crying out loud! He would kill me!"

"Will you hush? People are still in the house."

Kurt ignored him, instead plastering a look of shock on his face, "Can you imagine if this gets out? It'd be all over school. His reputation would be down the drain, which means that my growing one would slowly be sinking away..." he trailed off, his eyes watching the wall as though it was his dream of popularity and social standing drifting away.

Blaine sighed, "Look, do whatever you want."

The boy turned back around and faced him. "I'm sorry, I know I'm being a bit... insane about this," he started, briefly pausing when Blaine sent him a look as he spoke, "but, I'l try to tone it down. OK?"

He nodded after a moment, grabbing Kurt's arm and pulling him down softly to sit beside him on the bed. "Now on to something else, what are you doing tomorrow night?"

Kurt's eyes suddenly went wide, "Why, Blaine Anderson, are you asking me out?"

Was this it? Was this the moment that Kurt Hummel's life was finally going to come together. Every little piece falling into place? Every shoe fitting the right foot?

No, it wasn't.

"Kinda... I have to babysit my niece. My sister and her husband are going out of town for the night, and they need someone to watch her and I said that I would. I thought you might want to join me? It means we can spend more time together."

It might not have been the perfect date, but Kurt would take what he could get.

"I'd love to."

**xx**

Did they own a watch? Did they know what a calendar was? Because if not, she'd have to set them straight.

"You only gave me your little spec of advice yesterday, okay? I said that I'd think about it. So let me."

Her Daddy sighed, his husband coming to stand beside him.

"Sweetie, all were asking is that you come see some of the possible families with us. It'd be good for you."

She glared up at him from her seat on the bed, "What part of this would be _good_ for me exactly?"

"Rachel, please..."

She hadn't made it hard for them to understand, it was simple. Give her some time, time to think it over. Time to think about what she wanted. She'd told them, time again, that she wasn't going to make a rash decision. It wasn't an easy thing to decide.

Did she really want to give up her kid, her child, to some strangers who may or may not treat it right? Or did she want to keep it?

There weren't many options.

And truthfully, she wasn't sure of what they were expecting her to say.

But somewhere within the following twenty minutes, she'd found herself sat in the car, on the way to someone's house. She didn't know who, she didn't even care. She didn't even want to meet them. Not now, not ever.

She couldn't her child up, she just couldn't do that. She would never be able to do it, who could?

It was nice to imagine another life; one where she was older, married to the perfect man (she allowed herself to think of Finn), with a perfect job, when she'd get the news that she was expecting.

But would it be so terrible if that other life... became her reality?

Sure, she wanted the fame, the stardom, the recognition of being on the Broadway stage with her name in big bright letters. She really, really wanted. But would it be bad to imagine that as her alternate life?

Because the other side of the her, the side that wanted the American Dream, wanted the guy, the white picket fence, and the kids. But could she picture herself at twenty-two with a five year old running up the steps into her father's arms as she watched on with a smile.

Could she do that?

Could she imagine having an OK job, a beautiful house, a perfect husband and a child or two that she loved more than anything?

She could do that.

"Rachel, we're here." Her father pulled her out of the thoughts, her mind coming to reality as she shut off her iPod. She grabbed her purse and stuffed the item into it before getting out of the car.

Looking up at the big house in front of her, she glanced around at the surroundings.

The garden was perfect, beautiful and colourful flowers in every corner. The grass greener than green. The steps leading up to the front door, itself decorated by a huge Halloween ornumant, were perfectly polished.

But as she looked closer, she noticed more. And the more caught her attention.

The lawnmower and garden tools resting on the ground would have to move, they couldn't lay around with a baby nearby. The steps were actually quite rough, the baby could scrape its knee. The fences were dangerous, the baby could easily get a splinter.

Paying closer attention to detail, she realized something.

It was her.

Her. She'd been making this stuff up, creating faults to make this place seem less perfect. It was the only way to make keeping her baby the better option.

**xx**

"Dude, I'm screwed."

Finn chuckled as his friend came to the realization that he was going to end-up dateless for the Prom.

For the last two hours, he'd be calling every girl he could think of, at least every girl who was slightly attractive. He was desperate, and he hadn't yet received a _'yes'_. What the hell? What was wrong with everyone? Were they all high or something?

"Who wouldn't want to go with the Puckmeister?" he asked himself, grabbing another beer from his fridge. His popped off the cap and sipped a bit.

"Anyone who's ever heard that nickname." Puck sent him a glare, stabbing a fork from the table in his direction.

Even Finn didn't understand it. The guy was sexually aroused by anything that had a pulse, so why was everyone turning him down? It didn't make any sense. At least he didn't have this problem. Go to Prom with one girl, leave with another. Simple.

But was it really?

"Chang!" Puck yelled out, picking his phone up from the table again and scrolling through his contacts.

"What, Mike? Jeez, man, how desperate are you?"

Puck sent him a sarcastic smile, "No, the glee girl. I know she's not my usual type but let's face it, I need someone. Anyone." He held the phone and pressed _speaker_ before extending it so that Finn could hear also.

They heard a quiet rumble on the other end before a girl's voice picked up, "Hello?"

"Tina, right? Hi, it's Noah Puckerman."

The girls' voice quickly changed to a shyer tone after a quick giggle, "Uh, yes. Wh-what can I do for you, Pu- Puck?"

Puck gave Finn a knowing look with a confident smirk, "Do you happen to have a date for the Prom?"

Silence.

"Um, hello? Are you still there?" His shoulders tensed. Oh, for fuck's sake. She had a date, didn't she? She just fucking had to.

"Yeah. No. No, I don't have a date."

"Cool, pick you up at nine. Bye." He hung up.

Finn sent him a look, "That's it? The poor girl didn't even know what hit her!"

Puck shrugged, "Oh, please. Right now, she'll be too overwhelmed with excitement... and arousal. Besides, she's got quite a nice rack, so it can't be that bad of a night." He informed him, stuffing his phone away into his pocket. "Be right back, I've gotta whiz."

Because apparently saying that he needed to pee was to hard, Puck preferred to _whiz_.

Finn laughed, sitting himself down on one of the stools at the kitchen counter. His mind reeled back to Rachel, and the baby. He wondered what she was doing right now? Was she making plans for the Prom? Was she reading her baby book? Was she thinking about the adoption?

He gulped as he thought about it, adoption. The eight letter word that wasn't _'pregnant'. _He didn't know what to do about it. What was there to do on his part? It was more of her decision, she was the one who'd have to carry the thing for the next few months so she had to be the most decisive. Right?

It was killing him though. He couldn't stand the thought of his kid being brought up by someone else. The thought of another person being the one to see them grow up, to watch them fall in love with another person, to see them learn from their mistakes. To see them live.

He grew up without his father, he'd died in the war when Finn was five. Being brought up by his mom, he'd missed out on all the things the little boys learn from their fathers.

Granted, he didn't even know if the baby was a boy but if it was, he couldn't stand the thought of not being there. He wouldn't be there to help him with his schoolwork. He wouldn't be there to see his first football game, his first fight. He wouldn't be there as the father figure that he'd so desperately need.

And if it was a baby girl, he wouldn't be there to see her first dance rehearsal, her first date. He wouldn't be there to see her on her wedding day. He wouldn't be there to see his kid's first day of school, their first crush, their first fight, their first kiss, their first dance... their first everything.

Finn knew it was stupid, he shouldn't be thinking about these things. He was just a regular seventeen year-old guy in high school. He was just a seventeen year-old guy who's life was about to change forever.

And he'd be there for it.

**xx**

The family had been horrible, by being perfect. The were wonderful, not that Rachel would ever admit it. They'd already decorated a bedroom where a child would go when they finally got picked. When they finally got around to becoming parents.

And through their little speeches, and their little tears, and their little begs of how much they wanted her baby, Rachel was about ready to run out of there.

When they'd gotten home, she'd gone straight to her room and opened up her diary. She'd written away furiously, a few tears leaking on the pages as she thought of giving her baby away.

Her fathers had told her that were going out to get takeaway and had left about five minutes ago.

She was sat on her bed, diary open in her lap, tears streaming down her face. The doorbell rang and she wiped her cheeks quickly, water stains still visible on her face. She slowly paddled down the stairs, her hand gripping the railing to balance herself evenly. Her stomach was getting heavier by the day and she was started to need support.

Opening the door, she noticed Finn on her front step, his face drenched from the rain that was pouring. It was close to a storm, and she noticed by the way he was shivering that he was soaked through.

She ushered him inside, but he shook his head, instead wiping a drop of rain from the bridge of his nose as he licked his lips nervously. His eyes glistened, and she couldn't tell if it was from the rain or from his tears.

"Finn,-"

"I realize that this is stupid. I know that, and I know that you do too, which is why I'm not telling you this, I'm asking you to think about it. For me, please. I don't wanna wake up in ten years and think about what might have been. I don't wanna think about the child that I gave away. So, I'm asking you..." he trailed off, swallowing a deep breath.

The rain continued to pour and Rachel, stood before him under the dripping drain, was slowly becoming soaked.

"I want to keep it. I want to keep our baby."

All that was heard about from his words was the sound of water hitting the roads and cars, and the soft sounds of their breaths, "OK." She nodded.

Finn sent a quick smile, before leaning down and pulling her into him, pressing his lips against hers passionately. Her hands immediately gripped the sides of his face, as he did the same. She pulled away, her fingers clasping behind his neck. Rachel looked up at him, biting her bottom lip and her own tears mistaken for raindrops, "I love you."


	8. break this spell, watch it grow

**The Steps of Life**

_Prom came around faster then I'd expected. Now that I think about it, everything had happened so fast since I'd told Finn that I loved him._

_Yeah, I probably shouldn't have done that. At least, not yet. He was still with Quinn, and we'd only just decided to the keep the baby._

_It wasn't as though he'd acted cold after that, just... different. I can't really blame him, he hadn't planned to hear it. Nor had I planned to say it._

_Whatever, Prom was here and everything that I'd been worrying about had disappeared, any thoughts about babies and love out of my mind, not completely, but enough toenjoy one night of freedom. It wasn't all freedom, and all feelings of love hadn't gone, just temporarily evaded my thoughts._

_It was exactly like I'd planned._

_Apart from everything before the actual Prom._

**xx**

"Oh my God, did you hear?"

"What?"

"Some girl got knocked up."

Rachel immediately stopped walking, her eyes widening as she listened to the two girls converse.

"Seriously? What a slut."

She shrieked as the girls continued talking, giggling at the nicknames that unknowingly insulted her.

How the hell did they know?

They didn't exactly know that it was her who was pregnant, but anyway. Rumors traveled fast around McKinley, she just didn't know that they traveled this fast. Who had started it, and how did they find out?

She knew that Finn, nor Santana had told anybody and no one else knew, so who was it?

"Yentl, there you are!" the girl called from behind her. Santana quickly caught up and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "Spoken to the T-Rex yet?"

Rachel rolled her eyes at her use of names, "Yes, as a matter of fact. I have."

"And... what did you decide?"

Over the last few days, she'd become incredibly interested in Rachel's love life. And she know if it was just curiosity, or because her own was so none-existent.

The pair walked over to Rachel's locker, away from peering eyes so that no one could hear their conversation.

"We're gonna keep it," she told her, turning the combination into her locker, "Finn showed up at my house the other night, and it was very... romantic."

Santana gagged, "I do _not_ want to hear the sloppy details, you can save them for your weekly visits to the deaf clinic." she smirked as Rachel looked up at her with a fake smile, "I'm just happy to hear that you've made your mind up."

"Well, thank you. For that."

She smiled, "You ready for Prom?"

Rachel grinned, "I can't wait! It's going to be so great! What about you, you haven't returned the dress have you?" Santana's red dress was perfect for her, it was fit for a devil.

"No, don't worry. But I'm hoping that you're not expected me to get up and dance with you at this bomb. I plan to sit my ass down for the night, smoke up with my bottle of Jack, and watch some horny teenagers dry humping."

"Sounds like fun. Apart from the smoking." she warned her.

Santana groaned, "You still on my ass about that?"

"You do realize that smoking kills, right?"

She raised an eyebrow with a small grin, "That's the point."

Rachel shook her head, when was she going to get it? She didn't plan to have her dying, and smoking was only going to speed the process along.

"We're all going to die anyway. So what's the problem?"

"The problem is that it's unhealthy!"

The Latina sent her a glare, "Some people die for someone they love. What's the difference between that and dying for something I love?"

There wasn't any.

**xx**

"How do you feel about the news that you're in the lead for Prom Queen?"

Quinn flicked her blonde hair behind her shoulder as she leaned forward, down to Jacob Ben Israel to talk. He was the school's journalist and blogger. He was making the rounds, interviewing all of the Prom King and Queen candidates.

"I've gotta say, I'm feeling quite great. It's such a relief to know that the school is supporting me as their Queen. Thank you so much." she smiled at his video camera.

"Thank you, Ms Fabray. Now let's go and find your counterpart; Quarterback, Finn Hudson."

Jacob and his two followers walked down the hallway, stopping as they reached Fin''s locker where he was gathering his books. "Finn Hudson!" he called out to him.

The guy turned around quickly, jumping back briefly as he was crowded by the group. "Uh, hi."

"How do you feel about being in the race for Prom King?"

He frowned. It was a complicated question. How did he feel? He really couldn't answer that. Happy? Excited? Nervous? Not really. Or was he just plain careless?

"I feel... OK."

Jacob shrugged, it would do. "Alright, thanks."

Finn watched as the three trailed down the hall, stopping in front of Puck. He didn't understand the big deal about Prom. Of course, being at his level of popularity, people expected him to be over the moon at the possibility at being Prom King. But in all honesty, he couldn't care less.

He really didn't how he felt about anything lately. There was just so much going on in his life, that he didn't know how to take control of it all. Quinn. School. Rachel. Babies. Football. Prom.

Oh, the Prom. He knew what he was doing, he'd had it planned for a few days now. Once they'd announced the King and Queen, Quinn would either be overjoyed, or overemotional. He personally didn't care with one, but whichever one it was, was surely going to make a difference.

If she was in a good mood, the break-up would hurt less. But if she was in a bad mood, the break-up was sure to create problems. She'd go into full crazy mode, start throwing stuff at him while screaming at the top of her lungs.

And she'd create problems between him and Rachel.

Rachel, the whole reason why he was doing this in the first place. He couldn't stand the thought of not being with her for any longer. It was driving him crazy that while she was all by herself, he was playing happy families with Quinn.

Happy families. Families. Families consisted of a man, a woman, and at least one child. Him, Rachel and their baby were a family. Or at least, they were becoming one. And he wanted that family. He wanted the happy family. And that wouldn't happen if he kept this facade up for any longer. He wasn't even sure if she knew that she'd told him she loved him. Maybe she'd forgotten, maybe she'd accidentally let it slip.

Stuff was going to go down.

And so was he.

**xx**

It was nine o'clock and the Prom was kicking into full action at nine thirty, which meant that Puck would have at least a half hour to spike the punch before someone noticed. The coordinators only started to watch the punch bowl at around ten.

He was in front of Tina's house, his date. He scratched the back of his neck nervously, unsure of how he should act. He was a player, everyone knew that. But this girl, she was nice and he didn't want to hurt her in any way. He didn't have any feelings for her, but his psychiatrist had told him to start spending time with other kinds of people. He told the man of his feelings of Quinn, and he'd been told in return to show her that he could change, that he could be a better person. And if that meant taking a normal girl to the Prom just to show Quinn how he felt then he'd do it. She clearly thought that he was just some sort of sex-crazed animal, so she'd be eating her words.

Puck coughed a few breaths before holding his fist up and knocking on the door. After a seconds, the door opened to reveal his date. He had to admit, she didn't look half bad. The dark blue streaks in her hair matched the color of her dress and her make-up was minimal. She was perfect to show off.

"Hi, you ready?"

The girl looked down, grabbing her purse off of the table beside the door, "Yep. Bye, mom." She called, stepping out and closing the door behind her.

The car ride was silent, apart from the sound of Puck's radio. He hated sitting in silence, and the peace was killing him. "So, d'you have a boyfriend?"

She bit her lip, her fingers twiddling together, "Uh, no. Pl-please don't take this the wrong way. I think you're really nice, I do. But, I- I kind of like this other guy."

If he were anyone else, he figured that he'd be offended. But this girl was honest and he appreciated it. Besides, he kind of liked this other girl.

"It's fine, chill. We're just going as friends." He turned his head to her and smirked, "So, who's the guy? Do I know him?"

Tina smiled, "Mike Chang."

Puck chuckled as he thought of his teammate. Mike was a nice guy, and was decent enough for a nice girl like her, "Yeah, he's my bro." She giggled and he continued, "I can hook you up with that." he gushed, turning the corner towards the school parking lot.

Her eyes lit up, her whole body turning to him happily, "Really?"

"Yeah, no worries. Just hang with me tonight and I'll get you in with the Changster."

"Thank you, that's really nice."

Quinn had no idea what she was talking about.

He'd already changed without even trying that hard.

They pulled up outside, and got out of the car. Across the lot, near the entrance, he spotted Finn talking with Quinn. He gulped and wrapped an arm around Tina's shoulders, "Hey, do you think that you can try to make her jealous?" he whispered as the pair walked over to the other two.

She shrugged, "OK..."

Why would Noah Puckerman want to make Quinn Fabray jealous?

As the reached them, Finn turned around and smiled out of relief. He should enjoy talking to Quinn, Puck surely did.

Tina rested a hand on Puck's chest and rubbed it up and down.

"Hey, guys."

Quinn watched the girl's hand carefully, sending it daggers. Finn patted Puck on the back, "Good to see you, man. Hey, you must be Tina."

The girl smiled up at him, leaning closer into Puck to which he grinned. "Nice to meet you too."

Puck watched as Quinn observed the Asian girl. She looked at him, her eyes glaring at his own. "Puck, good to see you again. Hi, I'm Quinn." she introduced.

"I know who you are. I'm Tina, Puck's date." She pronounced the _'date' _word with a stump, proving her point. The guy smirked when she winked at Quinn.

Finn looked on at them all confused, "Why don't we just go in?"

It was nine forty-five, which meant that quite a few people were already there.

"Good idea, Honey."

Finn mentally puked at the name but plastered a fake smile on his face, "Let's go."

He only had to get through the next two hours.

**xx**

"Santana, I look a mess." Rachel tugged on the bottom of her dress as they walked towards gymnasium. It stopped just below her knees and she was convinced that her legs looked fat. It was light pink and glittery, and floated out like a ballerina's tutu just below the waist. "You can see the bump." she quietly shrieked.

"Will you relax?" she asked, her voice trailing on the last word out of annoyance, "You look fine. You look great, no one will ever know a thing." she told her, shaking her head as Rachel continued to readjust the top of her strapless dress.

The girl breathed out a deep sigh, "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure that Frankenteen's gonna die when he sees you, if that's what you mean." It wasn't really a question, more like a statement.

Rachel blushed, "You really think so?" She pushed a piece of her hair behind her ear; the rest was pinned up in a messy bun but a few strands dangled.

"I'm not gonna describe the way _his face is gonna light up when he sees you_, but you look hot. So he better die, or I'll have to kill him." She couldn't tell if she was being serious, or just joking.

"Thank you, anyway. Okay, come on." She grabbed the girl's hand before pulling her through the doors.

It was perfect.

The whole gymnasium didn't resemble its former self. It was a masquerade theme, so every wall was decorated with silhouettes and shadows. There were long strings of glitter hanging from the ceiling and the stage was dark purple, with hints of silver and gold.

Rachel pulled her mask over her eyes and tied it behind her head, while Santana did the same. They walked further, and Santana noticed that there were a few people not wearing masks.

"See, I told you. Now we look like idiots." she moaned, covering her eyes with a hand out of shame. "This is so bad for my rep."

The other girl chuckled, "Grow up. It's a masquerade dance, we're in the right. It's not our fault they didn't come prepared."

Santana rolled her eyes, walking over to the punch bowl and pouring herself a cup, "I hand you one, but I'm pretty sure it's already been spiked."

Rachel nodded out of understanding, "Right," she sighed.

Great, she was going to dehydrate.

"_'_Sup, ladies?" they heard a voice from behind them. Rachel recognized him as Jacob Ben Israel, the school's reporter. He'd always followed her around throughout their sophomore year when he'd transferred. And when he did, he'd always given her the creeps. "Rachel, how lovely to see you again."

The girl shuddered as Santana turned to give him a piece of her mind, "Look Jew-Fro, leave her alone or I'll go Lima Heights on your ass." she warned him.

The boy looked scared, "See you later, Rachel." And he left.

"Thank you."

Santana smiled at the thanks, "How did he know it was you?"

"I don't even want to know." Rachel told her, holding a hand up. The girls laughed as they continued to talk about nonsense.

After a few moments, Santana excused herself to go take a cigarette break. She said that she needed a momentary pause from the smell of alcohol mixing with hair gel, a combination which Rachel didn't fully understand.

The microphone buzzed and the students covered their ears and groaned and the squeaky sound, "Students, it's time for our themed masquerade dance. Mr Schuester taught you all the dance, and we expect you to act correctly. Thank you," Principal Figgins spoke, his accent thick to the sound.

Santana had quickly resumed her position by her side, "What did I miss?"

"The dance."

The themed dance was mainly a couples dance except, every ten seconds, you had to change partners. Rachel hadn't looked forward to it, the only thing being that she didn't want anyone to notice her bump; if anyone got too close, they'd find out. And that was something that she didn't want. The while point of the dance was for the King and Queen candidates, so the judges could get a better opinion on them, because apparently dance skills were mandatory. Halfway through, the judges would pair up partners for the rest of the song by tapping them on their shoulders. It was stupid.

The music to Taylor Swift's _Enchanted_ started to play as everyone got into place, into pairs. Since they'd come as dates, Rachel and Santana coupled up.

They each rested a hand on the other's shoulder and clasped hands. Santana rolled her eyes as she realized how stupid she looked, whereas Rachel watched on with a laugh. Ten seconds. Santana spun off to Brittany Pierce.

Larry Rodgers. He was a member of the AV Club, a computer nerd. His hand was running dangerously close to her ass when they swapped partners.

Te seconds.

Emma Fields, cheerleader. The girl groaned as she took in who her partner was.

Ten seconds.

Finn Hudson.

She blushed, her view gazing down as he smirked at her, his hand slowly running down her hand, "Hi."

Rachel smiled, "Hey," and she bit her lip.

Ten seconds.

Noah Puckerman.

The boy gave her a small smile as they danced and she avoided his gaze, at least he wasn't insulting her. It must be a part of his rumored new personality. The boy danced off into Quinn Fabray's arms as they hit the ten seconds mark.

Finn Hudson.

She didn't know how he did it, because the dance was set up so that no one danced with the same person twice.

He quickly grasped her hand and twirled her around, to which she giggled.

Ten seconds.

Jacob Ben Israel. Rachel gulped, averting her eyes away from him.

She made a note to avoid the way he was eyeing her up.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around to spot Mr Schuester. He was looking around a male counterpart to join her.

What if he tapped Jacob? God, no.

He tapped Finn Hudson.

Rachel smiled bright, her hands resting on his shoulders.

"What are the odds..." she questioned.

"I know..." She felt his hand trail down her back and rest on the curve just above her behind. She couldn't help but feel the urge to rest her head against his chest. Why was he so perfect that she could get used to the fact of dancing with him?

Finn leaned his head down and she took a deep breath. He wasn't going to kiss her in public, was he? He whispered in her ear, "Can you meet me on the rooftop, after they announce-?"

He didn't have time to finish asking his question before she'd nodded her head, already confirming her answer.

"Yeah, of course." He didn't reply, and she rose an eyebrow out of curiosity, "How did you recognize me?"

No one could know who anyone was, unless they didn't happen to be wearing a mask. Larry, Emma, Jacob and Puck hadn't been, but Finn had. But, she'd know his eyes anywhere.

He smirked, "I have my ways."

And then he realized, it didn't matter. It didn't matter if he kissed her because no one knew who he was, and no one knew who she was.

No one recognized anyone.

So he did, her placed a finger under her chin gently and tilted her head towards his. She closed her eyes and leaned up, as he bent down to press his lips down against her delicately. Her fingers held the back of his neck for support as he pulled her closer, his hands clasping on the low of her back.

The whole room seemed to disappear, but it didn't matter.

Nothing mattered anymore. Apart from each other

The music stopped.

"Thank you, students." Figgins clapped over the microphone, "Now, it is time to announce this year's junior King and Queen." He waited for Ms Pillsbury to pass him over two envelopes. He opened the first one and leaned over the microphone, "Your King is... Noah Puckerman. Congratulations."

The audience cheered as Puck made his way up the stage. The boy pulled on his tie nervously, he was hoping Quinn would be his Queen. Just this once. He smiled at Figgins as the man handed him a shiny stick and placed the crown on his head.

"And now, your junior Queen," he started to tear open the second one, while holding the microphone in one hand. The object fell to the ground and he took his time to bend over to pick it up. Quinn sighed with a strop as she watched the man. Couldn't he just announce her win already?

She folded her arms impatiently as he finally ripped the envelope, and Finn rolled his eyes by her side.

"Ms Quinn Fabray. Congratulations." The claps got louder as she walked over and up the stairs.

"Thank you, McKinley students. This means so much to me, it really does." She placed the tiara correctly on her head, "I've been looking forward to this day since I was five years old, I really-"

Figgins grabbed the mic back from her grasped and clapped, "Congratulations to our King and Queen. If they would please share the royal dance." He stepped back on the stage and allowed Puck to walk forward. He held his hand out to Quinn.

The blonde bit her lip and gently smiled at him as she reached for his hand.

Could she do this? Could she finally give in to him? She'd achieved social greatness, so what was holding her back? Maybe it was the idea of being too easy.

Her hand retracted, and she watched the way his face fell apart.

Puck gulped a breath as she walked away from him and headed down the stage, instead towards Finn.

She should've given in.

Finn softly smiled at her as she walked to him. His eyes briefly caught Rachel's and her face seemed to crumble as Quinn placed a hand behind his neck and pulled him down to kiss him.

The girl sunk into him, and he looked around to notice that Rachel had disappeared. She didn't think that- No. No, she couldn't. He'd made it clear what he was going to do, hadn't he? Right?

He pulled away quickly, his head turning in every direction as he searched for the brunette. Quinn grasped at his shoulder, "Baby, what's the matter? Aren't you happy for me?" she asked him.

Baby? Happy? No. No, he wasn't.

"I have to-"

She cupped the side of his face, trying to stop him from looking around. He pulled away from her again and started to walk away, "What is it?"

Finn ignored her as he walked towards the exit, running a hand repeatedly through his hair. Where had she gone? He was going to do it, within a few seconds he'd have dumped her, so why had she left?

Where was she? Had she gone home? Had she-?

The rooftop.

He started to walk towards the stairs as Quinn caught up to him, her hand pulling on his shirt, "Finn! What is your problem?"

He sighed, his hand grabbing the doorknob that led to the roof, "We have to talk. Now."

**xx**

"He just- he didn't do it."

Santana patted her back, "Great, now I'm out twenty bucks."

Rachel frowned, "What? Why?"

She'd made a bet that he wouldn't dump Quinn?

"I paid Mr Schue to pair you guys up." she told her, a small smile playing on her lips. "I can't believe that asshole but... maybe you looked into it too soon."

"I know what I saw. She kissed him, and he didn't pull away. That is not the sign of people that just broke up!"

"Maybe he was about to do it..." Santana suggested, it was possible.

Rachel glared at her, "Why are you defending him?" she asked, sitting down on the bench. They'd gone up to the roof when Rachel had spotted the two together, and she'd started crying, something that Santana wasn't fully comfortable with.

They heard foot steps coming up the stairs, and Santana turned around and Rachel stared down at the ground. "I think you should go back downstairs." she reasoned, her eyes telling him much more than she words were.

Finn sighed, "No, I'm not. I need to explain."

The girl on the bench looked up at him, "You have nothing to explain, I get it." she told him, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. "I get it, you chose her. Again. You chose Quinn."

He frowned, "What do you mean _again_?"

Santana coughed, clearly in an awkward position in the middle of the conversation, "I'm gonna go. I'll see later, Yentl." Rachel softly gently smiled at the use of the nickname, watching her friend descend down the stairs.

"What did you mean _again_? When was the first time? When have I ever chosen her?" he asked her, walking over and standing in front of her.

Rachel shook her head, "You know what? Nevermind, it doesn't matter."

"Rach, just tell me."

The small girl spoke after a few moments, her gaze shifting from his face down to the ground again, "When we were five." she started, swallowing a shaky breath, "When we were five, in kindergarten. I was, um, coloring this picture. It was a cat, a picture of a cat. And you, you walked into the classroom with your mom. I remember you had this Turtle figurine and you wouldn't ever put it down. It was your first day, I think, and you came over to me. And you said that you liked my picture because you liked cats." A tear trailed down her cheek as she relieved the memory, "And you put down your figurine and started coloring with me. I didn't have many friend when I was little, so you- you were my first friend."

Finn slowly nodded as he watched her crumble in front of him. The way her breath shook as she spoke was making tears grow as his throat closed.

She continued, "And then after awhile, this girl came in. Quinn. And she was pretty, with her little dress. It had- I think it had flowers? And you picked up your toy and went over to her and you sat down with her. And you never spoke to me again."

And he cried. He doesn't remember any of it, but the idea of it actually happening broke his heart. Why would his younger self do that?

"I am so, so sorry." he told her. Finn knelt down in front of her, cupping her face in his hands gently, "I am."

Rachel gave him a nod, her eyes avoiding his.

He softly turned her face towards his so that she'd look at him, "I broke up with Quinn," he started, blinking back his tears, "I broke up with Quinn because I want to be with you. Because I want to be here for you. Because I want to be here for our baby. Because I- I just want you." Rachel softly smiled as he leaned down and kissed her passionately, his lips pressed against hers with a slight roughness. He pulled away and gulped, a tear trailing down his cheek, "Because I love you too."

No one spotted the school's reporter in the shadows.


	9. crashing down on you and me

I know that this one is shorter than previous ones, but it's an important part of the story. Also, I recommend listening to The Verve's_ Bitter Sweet Symphony_ while reading the last part of this chapter. It's named after it. Plus, the song's amazing. Enjoy, love.

**The Steps of Life**

_Shit happens. I know it, you know it, everybody knows it. It's just a part of life, right? If shit didn't happen, then everything would be worthless. There'd be no value. If no one ever got it wrong, no one would ever have the chance to get it right. If nobody made mistakes, there wouldn't be anything to make right._

_People make mistakes, they make the wrong move, they screw up, they crash and burn, they fall. That's life. It's all a part of life, part of being human. That's all it is; humanity._

_Like I said... shit happens._

**xx**

Jacob sat down in front of the desktop, his fingers tapping against the wooden desk. How should he start?

_How condoms go to waste? We have proof of how contraception goes to waste._

No, too political.

_Should've shut your legs when you had the chance._

No, too harsh.

_The shocking news of a loser baby..._

Maybe, he contemplated. What way could he begin this? It was big news, for sure, but was there any way to make it sound even more exposed? He knew that he could just walk around the school, a megaphone in hand, _a la Sue Sylvester_, and broadcast his recent discovery while pointing the poor girl out. But he wasn't that mean, was he?

He liked Rachel, in a way that might be called _scary_ by a few people. He wasn't obsessive, but he wasn't that far off. Granted, he might have pictured her face once or twice when he got one off, and pictured their wedding day, but that didn't mean he was a creep. Did it?

He typed a few words into his latest blog update. He had to get this out before lunch, so that everyone would know. He might like Rachel, but she didn't return the feeling, and Jacob didn't appreciate it. No, instead, she'd gone and got together with the school's golden boy. The quarterback, the star athlete, the play-maker. Finn Hudson.

Jacob hated him. He knew that _hate_ was a strong word, but it was the only one that he could think of to express his feelings about the guy. Finn could have any girl that he wanted, and yet, he went for Rachel Berry. The one girl that Jacob had liked since their freshmen year, the only girl who'd ever held his interest. He hadn't thought that she'd be as shallow as to be one of the girls who fawned over the tall guy, who blushed whenever he looked at them. But she had been, and somehow, she'd made Finn Hudson return the emotion.

He didn't like it, not one bit. Rachel was meant to be with him, not with Finn. So, he was going to return their little _affair_, broadcast their news to everyone. If he couldn't have love from Rachel, then Finn would have to deal with the consequences of actually having it.

A few more keys were pressed before Jacob felt his chair spinning around. He found himself face to face with Santana Lopez.

"What do you think you're doing?" she questioned him, eyeing up the webpage hidden behind his head.

The boy shrieked, squirming in his seat. He always got nervous around Santana. She was hot, of course, but that wasn't what did it. It was her attitude, and Jacob had never wanted to get on her bad side.

"N-n-nothing," he stalled, his hand reaching behind him and toying with the mouse to close down the site.

Santana raised an eyebrow, a small grin on her face, "D'you think I'm stupid? Really?" she pulled on a strand of his curls tightly, "I'm not an idiot, Jew-Fro. And you're neither are you. So d'you know what you're going to do?" she teased him, "You're not gonna send that post, OK? Because believe me, if you do, you'll be getting the full wrath of my raiser-blades. They're all up in my hair, just all over there." she demonstrated, her hands waving over her head. "Do you get me?"

Jacob tightened his lips, sitting up straight in his seat, "No, I- I don't."

The girl crouched down to his eye level and stared at him dangerously, "Are you sure about that?"

Damn it.

"Yes."

**xx**

A small blush crept up on her face as Finn stared at her from down the hallway. She cast her eyes down to the floor, before her turning her attention to her locker. Searching for her history book, she didn't notice as he walked over to her. A hand slammed against the locker next to hers and she felt a large presence behind her. She bit her bottom lip and closed her locker quietly before slowly turning around and finding herself connecting against Finn's body.

"Hi," he smiled down at her, his other hand resting beside her head, trapping her between his arms.

Rachel nibbled down on her lip, leaning back against the row of lockers, "Hello."

The pair stood in silence for a few seconds as they watched the hallways clear out. Rachel had a doctor's appointment, and Finn had convinced her to let him come along. She'd been to the school nurse earlier to ask for a permission slip for a few hours, and Finn had gone later on, complaining of a (false) headache. He needed some way to get out of there.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked her, staring down at her lips.

She nodded, pushing her bag further up her shoulder. Finn reached down and grabbed her books, holding them in his arm while he wrapped the other around her shoulders.

Rachel softly sighed. So he'd done it, he'd broken up with Quinn. She figured that she'd be overwhelmed with joy when he finally announced that they were together for real. But he hadn't done it yet. He hadn't done as little as hold her hand yet. He hadn't kissed her, not even on the cheek. The most she'd gotten was a few moments ago, when some students had still been in the hall when he'd decided to pin her under him.

Maybe he was just waiting to make a big, romantic gesture. He might surprise her during lunch one day by declaring their status as a couple.

Or maybe, he wasn't going to do anything.

Maybe... this was it.

The car ride there was silent, apart from the soft sound of music playing on the radio accompanied by the thumps of the truck's ratty engine. Rachel had received a few stares from elderly people in the waiting room, shaking their heads as an obstetrician walked out and called his next patient.

"Rachel Berry?"

The girl stood, clasping Finn's hand in her own as he got up with her. They walked into the woman's office, and she closed the door behind them.

Directing her to the bed, the doctor spoke up, "Rachel, if you can lie down for me." she smiled at her, washing her hands under the tap.

Rachel nodded, stepping onto the bed and lying herself down.

The woman turned around, "So, how have we been feeling?" she asked the brunette.

"Good."

"Oh, you must be the father."

Finn stood anxiously beside Rachel, holding her hand, "Yeah, yes. I'm finn."

She smiled, "Nice to meet you, I'm Dr. Adams. You can take a seat, if you want." she pointed out the seat behind him. He smiled, bringing it closer and sitting himself down.

She rose Rachel's top up, under the breasts. Rachel took a sharp breath as the cold of the gel hit her stomach.

**xx**

She couldn't believe it. It was impossible, it must have been some sort of mistake. He must have been drunk, or stoned, or... anything.

He couldn't have, he just couldn't have.

He could not have broken up with her.

Quinn Fabray did not get broken up with.

What the hell was she meant to do now? Sure, she was Prom Queen, but how long was that title going to last? She needed him, she needed to know that Finn had her back, that he'd be the one to keep her on top.

But he wasn't there now, so what the hell was she supposed to do?

She just needed something, something to keep her mind from going crazy. Something to keep her from going off the rails, she was fuming.

She needed a fat person to make fun of, a loser to torment.

It was an easy find really.

Once the bell had rang for their French class, Rachel Berry had left the classroom so quickly that a few papers had fallen out of her books. Quinn had figured that they were just notes, vocabulary cheat-sheets.

But what she had found was so much better.

She smirked devilishly as she held the square sheet up in her hand.

A sonogram.

Who the hell would get that thing pregnant? More importantly, who the hell would have sex with her?

Rachel Berry was not the prettiest girl in school; Quinn had earned that title years ago, but she wasn't the ugliest either and the blonde couldn't deny it. Still, what could possess a guy, a teenage guy (even a horny one) to sleep with her?

She dressed like a catholic school girl. Her nose was too big. Her voice was annoying. Her boobs weren't even the great.

Plus, she always thought the Rachel was the kind of girl to wait until marriage before having sex. But she was Jewish, so she didn't know if that still counted.

Who could it have possibly been?

Everyone knew who she was; a loser. She was a nobody, so why would anyone have wanted to get with that? Maybe it was another geek, like her. Or maybe one of the football guys had gotten drunk and screwed anything that they found. She had been that anything.

Quinn was in pain. And her diagnosis?

Humiliation.

**xx**

"Mom, can I just call you later?" the boy asked over the phone, leaning his back against the door.

A woman's voice was heard from the other end, and Rachel could tell that she was shouting,

"What is going on?"

Finn sighed, pressing a hand against is forehead out of frustration. "Look, I got a girl pregnant. But I'll call you later and tell you everything, ok?" Silence. "Mom?"

"What-?" she told him, her voice trailing off with concern. He was her son, and if he had gotten himself into something dangerous, she didn't know what she'd do to him.

He hung up on her.

He resumed his seat beside Rachel and Dr. Adams glanced at him, "Everything OK?"

"Yeah, it's all fine." He didn't seem too sure of his words, but Rachel ignored the feeling when he smiled down at her lightly.

She rested her head back on the bed, swallowing a breath when Finn grabbed her hand.

How did she get here?

Dr. Adams rubbed her hands together and removed the newest sonogram, "Do you want to know the sex of the baby?" she asked, a small smile toying on her lips.

Rachel's head turned abruptly to Finn, who stared back at her in return. She bit her lip, again, "Well?"

If he didn't want to know, then she didn't want to either. It wouldn't be fair for only one of them to know. She wanted to now, she wanted to be prepared. Sure, it would be a nice surprise to find out only when you'd given birth, but none of this had been planned. And she wanted at least one part of it to be.

Finn slowly nodded, a soft frown on his face, "Yeah. I think- I think I do." he told her and she smiled.

"OK. That's good, because I do too." he leaned down and kissed her forehead, squeezing her hand tighter in his own. "Yes, we'd like to know," she told the doctor.

The older woman smiled, handing them the freshest image, "You're having a boy. Congratulations."

They were having a little Hudson. A little football star, a little closet-singer.

Perfect.

**xx**

"Oh. My God." a girl gasped as she stared up at the bulletin board.

"Holy shit." another one exclaimed with a slight laugh. "Is this serious?"

Quinn Fabray stood triumphantly as she admired her work.

During her lunch period, she'd kept herself busy in the school library, printing out posters.

_"Rachel Berry finally lost her cherry."_

It was a picture of a smiling Rachel, taken from the yearbook, but she'd been photo-shopped so she was holding a baby.

Everyone knew.

Santana strutted, shaking her head with anger as she saw the posters. They were all over school. Everyone could see them. Students, teachers, parents. Everyone knew.

It didn't take her long to figure out who could have done this. She was aware that Finn had dumped her sorry ass at the Prom, but Quinn couldn't have been this cruel in return, surely... Beside, she didn't even know about the whole Finn and Rachel fiasco.

"You think this is funny?" she called out to the girl as she spotted her down the hallway. "I bet you think that you're _real_ smart, don't you?" she asked her, pushing her back against the lockers.

Quinn shrugged her off, pushing back.

"Oh, whatever. What do you care? It's not as if it's you."

The Latina sent her a smile, that read how much she couldn't believe this bitch. She had some fucking nerve.

"I get that you're depressed about Frankenteen throwing you to the curb, really, I do. And quite frankly, I'm looking forward to the day when you spiral so far out of control that I have to call to call Animal Control. I can't wait for the day." she teased, smirking in the process, "But I'm sure that there's a nicer way to handle your clear frustration, and that doesn't include taking down someone better than you."

"Better than me? Better than _me_? Please, tell me what part of that thing if better than _me_?" she couldn't get over that insult. "Why do you even care?" she asked, holding a hand up with realization, "Oh, I forgot you were a lesbian. Sorry, but Berry doesn't float that way. Clearly."

"You know what?" she started, backing up from the girl before she want all Lima Heights on her ass, "Fuck you. Fuck you and your little perfect posse who pretend to like you. Fuck you and your seriously fake happy-parents and their not-so-happy divorce. Fuck you and your Cheerios. Fuck you and your little perfect life. Fuck you."

Santana walked away. She was being the bigger man. The bigger person. The better person. She was being Rachel's friend.

Pulling her cell phone out of her jean's pocket, she started to dial a newly familiar number.

She picked up on the second ring, "Hello?"

"Hey, it's me." she began with a shaky breath, "Listen, you might wanna get back to school." she warned her.

Rachel frowned on the other end of the line, "I'm right outside, I'll be there in a minute. Why?"

She gulped, taking a deep breath, "Let's just say... a lot more people know."

Silence.

Finn looked down beside her, "Is everything OK?"

Silence.

"Rach?"

He pushed the entrance door open, an arm wrapped around her shoulders. The girl didn't reply as they entered the school. She spotted Santana and dropped her phone. It landed to the floor with a thump.

Silence.

Finn looked around the main hall, spotting the posters as Rachel leaned into him. He pulled her closer, wrapping an arm safely around her back. A few students stopped their laughs when they spotted him. And a few others gasped when reality hit them.

What the hell?

Quinn stood still down the hallway, blinking slowly as she watched her ex boyfriend with the girl she'd just humiliated.

Him?

Finn?

It was him?

It was him.

Santana moved closer to the pair, standing by Rachel's side.

The smaller brunette cried into his shirt as he held her. The secret was out. The world seemed to have ended.

Shit.


	10. where we stood before the fall

****I know it's been awhile (a long while) but I've been studying for my exams and this one is quite short, but I plan to make the next one longer. Sorry, x.

* * *

><p><strong>The Steps of Life<strong>

He didn't know how long it was going to last.

The news had only been out for like, a day, and already everyone was on his case.

They were all over him as though he'd committed a crime, as though he'd murdered someone. As though he'd disrespected them. As though he'd made a mistake.

He didn't understand.

Since the entire student body had figured out that Rachel was pregnant, not even including the fact that he was father of the baby, everyone had seemed to be talking like hawks. They were spreading rumors like bloggers, the words getting confused as they passed from one person to the other.

He'd expected their reactions.

But one reaction, the only reaction, he hadn't expected had been Puck's. The guy was a bully, he'd teased Rachel since their were toddlers. So when the news broke, and Puck had been surprisingly well spoken about the matter, Finn thanked his stars.

The one thing he didn't thank? Football practice.

"Hey, Daddy." one of the players teased as he walked through the doors to the locker rooms.

Finn rolled his eyes, slamming his locker open and resting his head in his hands.

"Got anybody else knocked up lately, C'ptain?" another joked.

"Hey! Shut the fuck up!" Finn turned around, recognizing the voice of his best friend coming from behind him. Puck walked past him, patting him shoulder twice amicably.

"Guys! On the field, now!" Coach Bieste yelled from the doorway, pointing with her thumb and index finger to outside the window.

Finn sighed, slamming his locker shut to a close and nodding towards the other guy, "You know you don't have to do that, man."

Puck shrugged, blowing the comment off, "I know, but I'm your man so I do it anyway." he told him. The pair walked beside each other as they left the room and headed towards the field, "Look, this whole thing... it's crazy, I know that, believe me. But you're my guy, so... I'll be there, man."

There was no need for a thanks, instead they just smiled in silence and joked along the way.

**xx**

"Rachel, there you are!" a voice calls behind her and she turns to see Jesse appear by her side.

It's been a while.

"Hey," she starts, the awkward silence kicking in.

He smiles, stopping himself in front of her and crossing his arms over his chest, "Are you OK?" he asks, raising an eyebrow as though he's unsure of what she's feeling.

The brunette frowns and steps around him to keep on walking, "I'm fine. I mean, you know, I've been better."

"Are you sure?"

"Jesse, what's this all about?" she asks him back, breaking her nerve.

"Look, I just... wanted to make sure that you were alright, is all. With everything that's been going on and everything, it's-"

She cut him off, placing a hand against his chest to stop him from going any further, "Everything that's been going on? You mean, like me getting pregnant? Every single person in this school finding out and tormenting me about itever since? Well then, no, I'm not OK. But I'm dealing with it in my own way. So if you don't feel that it's bad for your rep to be talking to me, then please, leave."

The girl walked off, leaving the lonely guy puzzled behind her.

What the hell?

**xx**

"I don't mean to be a bother, it's just that I'd really like to talk with you about your daughter."

The older man slowly nodded, curious as to why the girl was in his doorway.

Quinn Fabray.

She walked in as he held the door open for her (closing it afterwards) and took her seat down on the sofa.

"Can I ask what this is about?" the man questioned.

The blonde smiled, crossing her legs and folding her hands together in her lap, "Mr. Berry, I think that you're fully aware of your daughter's situation." she started, raising an eyebrow to check that he knew what she was on about, "Do you, by any chance, know of your daughter's plans for the future?"

He knew that she was headed somewhere with this, but he just couldn't tell where.

"Ms. Fabray, I don't think that this is a very apprporiate conversation to be having with one of my daughter's friends."

She gasped, "Sir, I am not one of her friends, believe me. I'm just... a good classmate."

"I see," he began, taking a seat across from her on his chair, "So what exactly are you trying to tell me?"

"Look, we all know that Rachel gave it up not-too-long ago at a party. But this whole thing kid of ruined the rest of my life because my boyfriend, the guy who I was meant to spend my future life with, turned out to be the guy who got her pregnant. So you see how this pregnancy involves me?"

"This pregnancy does not involve you, in any way, nor does it involve that football player. You can still have your life, Miss, because I don't want my daughter anywhere near him ever again." he told, emphasizing his last words.

She faked a shocked look, "They've been attached at the waist since the news broke; are you really sure that she got the message not to see him again? Because it sure doesn't look like it. All they've been doing is hugging, kissing, holding hands like some love-sick puppies and talking about how to raise that baby."

"How to raise the baby?" he asked, shaking his head at the thought, "No, you must have heard them wrong because that baby is being given up for adoption. We gave her some time to make up her mind but she never told us what she wanted, so we made the decision ourselves. Once that baby is born, it is going into somebody else's care."

"Are you sure about that?"

She smirked to herself.

She'd gotten there.


	11. once broken, twist the knife

**The Steps of Life**

It's been two months.

Two months since the last time they spoke, since the last time they shared eye contact that lasted for more than five seconds.

Two months since the last time they kissed.

And he doesn't know why.

**xx**

She doesn't understand what changed.

Her fathers were alright with the whole situation or, at least, they seemed to have been.

No one suddenly changes their mind like that. Do they?

_Cut off all contact with that boy._

She couldn't see him.

They didn't let her.

She'd gotten home from school on that December day and they'd told her to cut him out of her life, to end all contact.

She doesn't understand why.

"Sweetie, time to go!" her daddy yelled from downstairs.

She doesn't reply.

Her life now officially sucks.

**xx**

The thick smoke's clouding her view but she can make out his shape out of a flame.

"Frankenteen?" she asks out, even though she's sure of herself.

She's never wrong.

The tall guy appears and Santana praises herself, yes.

"Need a smoke?" she held out her hand, offering him the cigarette.

Finn contemplates taking it, but he alters. He doesn't do that anymore, he hasn't for awhile. "No," he started, shaking his head, "I need to talk to Rachel, have you seen her anywhere?"

She frowns, _he waits two months to finally talk to the hobbit?_

"Can't say that I have. When she stopped seeing you, I kind of got forgotten about too." she explains, casting her gaze over onto the football field. The players are setting up and she notices Finn's attire. He should be practising. "Shouldn't you be over there?" she looks back up at him and points over to the field.

He shakes his head and sighs, "This is more important. Just- if you see her, can you please tell her that I need to speak to her? Please?"

Santana nods, putting her cigarette out on the bleacher she's sat on, "OK, no need to beg." She stands, and pulls her black bag over her shoulder.

He walks away, and she does the same.

**xx**

"Today, we will be learning the-"

He zooms out, his attention instead catching on the blonde, seated at the front of the class.

She's been overly-happy for the past several weeks and he's wondering why.

Popularity means everything to Quinn, and he guessed that the whole Finn-Fiasco didn't help her reputation, so he couldn't understand why she was so cheery ever since their breakup.

What the fuck?

He'd honestly thought that she'd have been depressed for a few days before she'd have come crying her eyes out to him so he could have consoled her.

She didn't.

Puck doesn't pay look at her for the rest of the lesson.

**xx**

"Man, what the fuck's up with you?" he asked his friend, jumping down on the seat beside him.

He groaned, his headache reappearing. "It's the whole Rachel thing, it's just hard to process."

Puck took a bite of his sandwich, and spoke with a full mouth, "You love her, what's hard to process about that? It should be easy, right?"

Finn turned his head towards him and raised an eyebrow, "Since when are you a romantic?"

He doesn't know what to reply.

_Since I fell in love with your ex?_

"I just guess my sister's been making me watch too many chick flicks lately, is all." he replies.

He's a bad liar, he knows, but Finn will let it pass.

For now.

He continues to munch his food while Finn glances over to see Santana waving her hand out at him. He frowns out of confusion at her until she points both hands towards Rachel who was leaving the cafeteria. "Eh, look," he starts, tapping Puck on the shoulder as he stands, "I gotta go."

Puck shrugs him off without a care, "Sure," he answers back.

Finn follows the brunette out of the room, catching her at her locker.

She's struggling to get some books out of her locker and into her bag. He walks over, swiftly grabbing the heavy objects from her.

He's not sure how to start.

"Hey,"

Good enough.

Rachel looks down at the ground, crossing her arms over her chest, "What are you doing?" she asks him quietly, as if she were afraid to speak any louder.

He gently grasps her arm, "I'm being helpful." he tells her simply.

She swallows a breath and shuts her locker before attempting to grab the books off of him. "I have to go."

"No." he holds them tightly against his chest with one arm while the other holds onto her, "Tell me what's going on. Now. Because one day, we're happy and having a kid and then the next, you don't even want to look at me. So please, explain."

She shrugs herself out of his grasp, "Finn, I don't have time for this." she turns, abandoning her books and the conversation or, at least, trying to.

She can't do this. It's too hard.

It's killing her to walk away from him.

"Don't walk away from me." he calls after her, but he realizes how harsh it sounds for someone in her state, "Rachel, please."

She stops walking but doesn't turn around. So, he walks up in front of her and stares her in the eyes.

"Talk to me."

_Break his heart if you have to._

"I can't see you. OK? As in, I'm not allowed. And quite frankly, I don't want to." she holds back her tears, she doesn't like hurting him. "I'm over it. I'm over you. So, please, get over me, because I don't want you."

She takes her books and walks away, ignoring the heartbroken look on his face.

He sheds a single tear as he watches her leave.

He doesn't understand.


End file.
